tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67621733849828502422024-03-13T22:07:14.931-05:00Elisheba Ruth - Addict, Prostitute, Transsexual Lesbian, Engineer, Scientist, ChristianOne woman's story of her journey through atheism and addiction and into Christianity and recovery. This blog is a work in progress, so please be patient with some of my redundancies or with incomplete sections. I am already sharing this particularly with the intent of adding my story to those already out there for people who wish to recover.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-82951786316588300582014-01-08T12:16:00.001-06:002014-01-08T12:16:08.035-06:00I am a unique child of God<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was an abused child. Emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, sexually, and physically. I'll leave the details to your imagination.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I developed a very strong, aggressive, 'butch' personality which solidified when I was twelve. I'm talking; carrying a switchblade knife and selling drugs at thirteen kind of butch. I was only 5'3" tall but was mean enough to back down people a foot taller just because I exuded 'mean'. No one wants to jump on some little guy that is going to keep going like the energizer bunny. There was no room for any compassion. You either met my criteria for 'tough' or you were useless. I wasn't evil, simply devoid of compassion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In my late thirties that personality started showing cracks; the oak breaks where the willow bends. At one point I woke up and he was gone. I remembered most of my life as if I'd watched a video (and no, I didn't come to this realization after seeing 'fifty first dates'!). I didn't know how to drive or act. I had the emotional maturity of a nine or ten year old girl. I thought of him (my other personality) then and now as a twin brother who took the beatings while I was hidden under the table crying. After about two or three months he started coming back and eventually completely took back over. I went back to sleep. There were a few cracks through which I peeked over the next decade, but he was still firmly in control, which was fine with me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">About six years ago I woke up again. Literally. I woke up one morning and he was gone. I thought for the longest time that maybe he'd come back again, but he never did. Of the three or four times I've attempted suicide or have seriously considered it, the majority have been because I have been unable to accept myself; that I simply could not, and sometimes cannot, accept who I am. I could not sleep for three days that time six years ago when I woke up. I could not keep my thoughts off the gun cabinet. I did not wake up nor did I stay awake of free choice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had my own private ceremony for him a few years back, grieving over the loss of my brother. People ask how I know that I won't go back to sleep one day and not wake up again. You 'heal' DID by merging the personalities. I've done this. I learned to drive again on my own. I started cursing like a marine after about a year or so as one of his traits bubbled up to the surface but I curtailed that. I have merged from him what I am willing to accept into me, but on my terms. His characteristics do not define me, but I have allowed myself to grow with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">During my life I never experienced what most ts women do; that sense of being in the wrong body. I just woke up in the wrong body, but when he was in charge, he was very very happy with his body. I've accepted most of my life now, although to be quite honest there are parts where I accept that I may have lost detail or have simply fabricated something out of childhood fear. I try to walk the path before me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My sense of a 'fluctuating gender' is much different than the average persons because my personalities were so clearly defined, probably by both the trauma of my childhood and a certain level of mental illness. I've had psychiatrists and therapists tell me that what I have experienced is a lie. They don't believe me. DID means the two personalities are completely separate I'm told, so I must be something else. Well, yes, of course I'm something else! But I can only describe myself given the English language. If we meet we can try ASL or hug therapy or something. Until then English is the best I can do and what I've written above is as close to my reality as i can accomplish given the barriers of language. I always find the arrogance of professionals in the therapeutic industry to be laughable. As Bobbi said earlier, we aren't a binary species.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because we are, as a culture, too ignorant to understand chaos theory we refuse to believe it. Mental health professionals refuse to believe that I can be completely unique, insisting on categorizing me into neat boxes. This is analogous to insisting that all trees must be look exactly like one of twelve prototypical trees. That all zebra stripes must be identical to one of eighteen 'model' zebras. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am a completely unique tool, forged of a unique blend of material and experience and formed and polished by God in His workshop. There can be only one!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I was not designed to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is the strongest. ― Henry David Thoreau, On the Duty of Civil Disobedience</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-79172495270912797772014-01-08T11:45:00.000-06:002014-01-08T11:45:33.661-06:00The path does not define the traveler<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have realized that, as a transsexual woman, I have an incredibly unique perspective on the human condition. Those of us who have experienced life through both the scarlet fog of testosterone and the pink glow of estrogen know the human condition like no one else possibly could. I spent four years in a military academy and was a US Marine. I'm now a femmie girl hippy chic. I reloaded my own ammunition and competed in amateur pistol competitions. Now I'm a vegetarian who can't watch even PG-13 movies because there is too much violence!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">At the risk of seeming vain... oh who am I fooling! I passed that line of demarcation some time back... I'm going to quote myself from a former post. Sometimes I say stuff that even I like!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>The path does not define the traveler, rather the traveler experiences the path and allows herself to become whom God wishes her to be.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Robert M. Pirsig said; <i>I've noticed that people who have never worked with steel have trouble seeing this... that the motorcycle is primarily a mental phenomenon. They associate metal with given shapes... pipes, rods, girders, tools, parts... all of them fixed and inviolable, and think of it as primarily physical. But a person who does machining or foundry work or forge work or welding sees "steel" as having no shape at all. Steel can be any shape you want if you are skilled enough, and any shape but the one you want if you are not.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe that we are the 'steel' in God's machine shop and foundry. My job is simply to be His hands and His eyes and to shape myself to His will. The paths we take, the experiences we accumulate; these are the tools and processes that He uses to cast, hammer, machine, and polish us into the shape He wishes us to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A pair of tongs is not defined as the anvil on which they were forged; they are simply tongs. Neither am I defined by the paths on which I was forged. I am simply a child of God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">People <i>who have never worked with steel </i>have difficulty with this concept. I often hear people defining themselves as the many paths on which they have traveled who are seemingly unaware of who they are in the absence of those paths. Both a hammer and a pair of tongs takes the same path from forge to foundry, but they have very different purposes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My job is to get out of God's way and let Him shape me to His purpose. The tools He has used to shape me have been transsexuality, addiction, prostitution, education, homosexuality, jail, the USMC, engineering school, mental institutions, treatment facilities, cults, and reading, to name a few. For me, being able to divorce who I am as a tool for His glory from how I have been formed into that tool is a significant step in allowing Him to put the finishing touches and polish on me as a child of God. If I hold on to the paths by which I was forged I am not allowing Him to buff me out to the sheen necessary to reflect His will. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If I hold on to the baggage of the past how can I pack for the journey of the future? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If I am so obsessed with the furnace and forge of my birth that I cannot face the task he sets before me, of what worth am I? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is of the deadliest temptation to slide into self reflection, to become a </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">practitioner </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> of narcissism and navel gazing who refuses to face ahead while wallowing in self pity for my past</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">. Of what good am I while doing so? I may pad the pockets of a therapist and the drug company who manufactures lithium and sertraline. I may line the coffers of the book publisher whose tomes assure me that I am right to feel harmed. But who am I helping, really?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Did Saul of Tarsus refuse Jesus' call (Acts 9) to carry His word to the gentiles? A man who I have (I believe justifiably) referred to as the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hermann Wilhelm Göring of biblical times, Paul could have refused God's call, wallowing instead in self pity for the horrors he then realized that he had committed. Instead, he answered Jesus' call and threw himself in front of proverbial bus after bus as a tool cast, forged, shaped, and polished in the horror of his own past.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A man apparently of small stature, poor eyesight, meek when in person, and unpopular, he could have bemoaned his lack of a perfect stature, sight, and personality, and could have felt pity on himself for his lack of friends and his use by God as a <i>whip of cords</i> to drive home His will. Instead, he wielded God's hammer forcefully on his fellows and other Christians, doing his best to help them find God's way. He referred to himself as <i>the worst of sinners</i> and said that <i>good itself does not dwell in me</i>. Still, He accepted that God had chosen him as a tool, let go of the baggage of his past, and carried the message to the best of his ability.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am simply a child of God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Morality is not the doctrine of how we may make ourselves happy, but how we may make ourselves worthy of happiness. - Immanuel Kant</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-85435435455093885172014-01-07T10:45:00.002-06:002014-01-07T10:45:45.711-06:00The Scarlet 'T'<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm a transsexual lesbian. Transsexuals are perhaps the last group of people that American society feels comfortable making rude jokes about. You'll hear 'tranny' jokes and remarks across the media where you used to hear 'black' jokes, 'blonde' jokes, 'Jew' jokes, etc. Add my 'T' to the 'L' and I've got two of the letters in LGBT pegged. My point is that I often find myself in a situation where either homosexuality or transsexuality is being denigrated and none of the offenders know that I am an 'offendee'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have three options here really, and note that I said 'I have', not 'you have'; I can only share what works for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1) I can vote with my feet. I have done that. I get up and walk out of the meeting, restaurant, helicopter (just checking to see if you're paying attention!), etc. I rarely take the option of martyring myself to strangers as it can often become just a way to embarrass them. Voting with my feet, removing myself from the source of offense is always an option.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the choice I will take most frequently with strangers whom I never expect to meet again. If I confront them it is likely they will simply get angry, and I have no desire to suffer for the ignorance of strangers.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering - Yoda.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2) I can gently inform the offenders that I am an offendee; that I am one of said group. As a Christian who has been searching for both a home church and who has been looking around for a Celebrate Recovery group I've been around a lot of Christians, and they/we are notoriously un-Christlike. I have on occasion simply and quietly interjected into the conversation; "I'm gay", or "I'm a transsexual woman". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I usually don't bother to follow up with what some might think is the obligatory scolding. I prefer to let them stew in their own guilt. Paul did speak out against malice, slander, and gossip. The normal reaction to this is quiet embarrassment on the part of the offenders. Later someone will approach me and apologize and ask questions and tell me how supportive they are. I always want to quote Martin Luther King, Jr. at this point; <i>In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends</i>, but I never do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear</i>.<i> - Martin Luther King, Jr.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the approach I will most often take with a group that I wish to be a part of. In every 12 step group and church I have attended I have made it clear that I am gay. I do not simultaneously make it clear that I am a transsexual as I quite honestly fear for my safety. Throwing yourself in front of buses for fun and profit is exciting, but you get to do it so infrequently (between hospital visits and all), that I try to be selective.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I use this option I am also taking the stance that 'I may be the only bible these people ever read'. In other words I'm not trying to come off with judgment. I am trying to present the picture of someone that the group would not want to make fun of or cause emotional issues for. I am attempting to put a face to their bigotry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I did this when I was in rehab. I'd been there about ten days in a women's unit and no one knew that I am a transsexual woman. It was dormitory style living. I decided to out myself as a transsexual woman, first to the staff and then to the other residents. It ended up costing me the opportunity to go to a half way house because they all said they would judge me solely by the 'M' or 'F' on my drivers license. As I haven't had the (very expensive, painful, and dangerous) surgery required to change that gender marker, my admission cost me. But the staff was kind as were my friends. I think that I presented the picture of a transsexual who wishes only to be accepted for who she is, hopefully tearing down some of the stereotyping that society is so happy to perpetrate on us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3) I have the option of simply ignoring the offense. This is not 'turning the other cheek' in my opinion. Turning the other cheek seems to me only to apply when the offender knows that you are an offendee. It is not an act of cowardice either, typically. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I usually take this stance when I simply don't have enough respect for the offenders to care what they think or say. As Ron White so eloquently says; <i>You can't fix stupid!</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is not to say that I will ignore the offense if it is directed at another. I have found that, where I may be reticent to out myself in isolation, my 'mommie' instincts flare up dramatically if someone else is the object of castigation and I find that I am much more willing to throw myself in front of the bus. You could say that I should walk around with a scarlet <i><span style="color: #990000;">T</span></i> on my blouse, constantly witnessing to the bigots and uneducated, but I have to have pockets of sanity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it. - Martin Luther King, Jr.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus told the disciples to, <i>shake the dust from your robes,</i> in response to towns and people that would not accept their teaching. I think that it is sometimes obvious that there are people who will not; redneck uncle Joe who thinks Glenn Beck should run for president and that Fox news is actually news is an example. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For people like him, I usually don't even try. However... if he is poisoning the minds of those who might be helped, I might just out myself so that he can shame himself upon the shore of my convictions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"...our aim is not to defeat the white community, not to humiliate the white community, but to win the friendship of all of the persons who had perpetrated this system in the past, [and to] to awaken a sense of shame within the oppressor." - Martin Luther King, Jr.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4) I do not give myself the option to be angry. Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. If I find myself getting angry I go back to steps 1 or 2. If I simply do not want to either leave and no longer associate with this group or out myself to them, I take deep breaths, remember that He asked our Father to <i>Forgive them for they know not what they do!</i> while he was being killed in an excruciating fashion, and yet He still showed mercy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, I am well aware of His temper! Still, I don't recall Him dwelling on it. The simple fact is that I cannot hold Him in my heart while holding anger or resentment for another person, place, event, or thing. I just can't. If I want to hold the anger or resentment I just can't let Him in. I can't even pray. If I decide to let Him trickle in and pray just a tiny bit, it comes in a flood!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There is no option 4) for me. I actually learned this as an atheist who was a (very, very) suicidal manic depressive. Two people angry at one another and not even involving me depresses me! I would think about something pretty or find something of beauty to focus on. I have literally jumped up and ran from a room. Channeling Jesus works better. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness. - Martin Luther King, Jr.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In the end, anger, resentment, fear, they are all violence, and you will note from my choice of quotes that I come up with a 'nay' vote in that respect. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Only a philosophy of eternity, in the world today, could justify non-violence. - Albert Camus</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Most importantly perhaps, I don't wear a scarlet <i><span style="color: #990000;">T</span></i> on my blouse because being a transsexual is not what defines me. If I introduce myself with labels or am asked by someone at a party what I do or on a first date to 'tell me about yourself' I'll talk about reading, writing, church, volunteer activities, human rights, the environment, my children and friends, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The topic of what I do for a living will never come up unless I'm asked; it does not define me. That I have an engineering degree and was in the USMC won't come up as neither do they define me. Similarly, transsexuality is only a path I had to walk to get to where I am.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>The path does not define the traveler, rather the traveler experiences the path and allows herself to become whom God wishes her to be.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was a stone bitch before I ever even wanted to transition. I am still capable of being just as 'stone'. I was an intellectual before; I still am. Sad movies made me cry; still do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't 'come out' as a transsexual woman unless there is good cause as it is so far down the list of 'things that define me' that I find lots and lots of other more interesting things to discuss first. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't 'come out' as a transsexual woman unless there is good cause as discussing the movie "To Wong Fu..." is tiresome for me, because I do not know that 'tranny' you met in Des Moines, because I have no desire to discuss my genitalia with you, because I've never been to a 'drag show' nor do I desire to do so, I know not a single 'Show Tune', and I don't need wardrobe and makeup tips (I pull off a very nice 'Little Orphan Annie' meets Minnie Pearl by myself, thank you!).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't 'come out' as a transsexual woman unless there is good cause as don't want to be viewed through the prism of 'tranny porn' and gay rights parades where men and women are dressed in 'pole dancer' costumes and writhe their near nude bodies in exhibitionist ecstasy. Neither do I readily offer that I was abused as a child, physically beaten, emotionally and psychologically strangled, and raped. I don't introduce into the first moments of meeting someone at church, a party, or work, that I was a drug addict and prostitute; that I was a 'crack whore'.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Like most humans I have a facade that I put up in front of my emotions that allows me to maintain my composure and keep from running screaming into the darkest recess of the chaos that is in my mind. Anyone who doesn't do this is, at best, a sociopath. I get to choose what my facade looks like; which words and actions tilt the prism through which you view me.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth. - Robert Heinlein.</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Once someone has gotten to know me, and if I feel that either our relationship will be strengthened by knowing more about me or their experience may be heightened by finding out that they know a former drug addict and whore, survivor of rape and child abuse, and transsexual woman, and that she's an ok person... then I'll consider coming out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's my story after all; my reality, and my sanity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>...Much later I would remember these moments as I struggled to find a footing in the storm of madness ever present in my waking dreams, seeing all around me only a gossamer veil of sanity that seemed ever out of my reach, the timeless chaos of madness always beyond, the ephemeral solace of sanity fading slowly but inexorably into the distance, leaving only nightmares filled with darkness and my own screams with which to feed my mind.</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-70335816815540836552014-01-07T10:21:00.002-06:002014-01-07T10:21:33.515-06:00Atheism and morality<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was an active atheist for most of my life. I realized that the only thing I would leave behind would be my works and my effect on people. I had no hope of being absolved of my trespasses. I could not treat someone ill and blame it on a myth or parable. I had to take completely responsibility for my every action. I based my life on chaos theory. Contrary to common thought, chaos theory does not say that small things are causal; it says that small things may contribute to larger things. Small things can change things in unexpected ways.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I used to tell this parable: What if there had been a kindly old Jewish couple who lived in Austria in the late 1800's and made soup and cookies for the three boys next door, who befriended the Hitler family? Could the world be different today simply due to a kindness; soup and cookies?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am not saying this is how every atheist feels. I am saying that there is room on both extremes for people to do good, and room in the big fat middle for people to exercise their most horrible extremes. If you've ever watched parents in the animal kingdom with their young and with their partners you know that compassion is a common trait in all mammals, regardless of their ability to worship or acknowledge a deity.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there. - </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Robert M. Pirsig</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Evil is simply; evil. There will be those who blame it on the ready availability of guns, pornography, alcohol, drugs, tootsie rolls, etc., but it's still just evil. The emperor threw Christians to the lions. Christians burned women at the stake. Who gets to have the last 'horror'? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Atheists are no better and no worse at keeping 'morals', for acting in kindness and compassion, than are Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Quakers, Italians, Jews, or even people from Oklahoma We all make a choice at some point in our lives either to throw caterpillars into the bed of ants and giggle as they squirm, or to watch the caterpillar in awe, marveling at the face of God. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Blaming evil on words in a book is cowardly at best. Witness the massive and bewildering variety of Christian denominations. You can giggle madly and praise God when a person dies of aids, proclaiming that to be the will of God, and find a denomination that will revere your insanity. You can fatten up your stock portfolio and drive a hundred thousand dollar car and find a denomination that will praise your success and hold you up as an example of God's promise of success, praising you for spending a hundred dollars on a 'Christmas angel'. Or, you can find a denomination that accepts all, loves all, and denounces wealth and anger. Religion itself is broad enough to cover Mother Theresa and Teresa of Avila while burning Copernicus at the stake. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pull up your big girl panties; it is your choice to be either good or evil. Don't blame your evil on God, and don't be so pious as to not take credit for being a good person. We aren't little flesh and blood puppets, dangling by strings, driven by His every word. He tried that for forty years in the desert. It didn't work out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Virtually every religion has at its core compassion. Non-Hebrew philosophers long before the birth of a man named Jesus waxed poetic about fairness and equality. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Perhaps I am a heretic... no; I am a heretic... I believe that the capability for good or evil resides in all of us. Our connection to deity (spirituality) does not create this; it can only heighten and sharpen what is there. I have known people that are truly good. I have known those who are truly evil. I neither blame nor give credit to either condition on deity, on God, or on Christianity. To do otherwise would be to demean the Buddha.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of the mountain, or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha - which is to demean oneself. - </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Robert M. Pirsig</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Elisheba Ruth</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-29673413094923064352014-01-04T12:46:00.000-06:002014-01-04T12:46:21.899-06:00Why being right means that I am wrong.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A friend recently asked me for my opinion on the Book of Mormon. I have known a few Mormons in my life. They are a bit rare in my area, but I have befriended several in the past three or four decades and have always found them to be both gentle and kind. In several I have detected the malodorous presence of doubt. I find that I must be sympathetic to this; the deep south is the province of the evangelical Christian. Being Mormon here must be no less arduous than is being Muslim, atheist, or gay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A few days later in my almost daily scrounging for books at thrift shops and on clearance aisles I found <i>Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith.</i> I needed a break from my intense study of the bible so I picked it up yesterday as I was on my way to a Drs. appointment, hoping that a brief sabbatical would bring me back to the book of Isaiah refreshed. I was pleasantly surprised at both how fascinating and how familiar I found the story of the man that Mormons refer to as the <i>Prophet</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Raised in poverty and living an indigent lifestyle due to his fathers need to move around for work, Joseph Smith says that he was; <i>born... of goodly parents who spared no pains to instruct me in the Christian religion.</i> I would suspect that the King James Version may have been the sole book the family owned, and certainly the one most treasured. <i>Teachings </i>goes on to say that Joseph's parents <i>recognized that some of the gospel principles taught by Jesus and His apostles were absent from contemporary churches... Though only a boy, Joseph was deeply concerned about his own standing before God and about the confusion among the various religious groups</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This background led Smith to ultimately found his own religion. While I have opinions and theories on why he did this and, perhaps, how, those opinions and theories are irrelevant to my topic. What interests me is the pattern by which most of us, being <i>concerned </i>about the <i>confusion among the various religious groups</i>, come to the opinion that all or most of them are wrong. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I found in Smith a kindred spirit, both admiring and even perhaps envying his dedication to finding piety and truth in God's word. I understand completely his dismay at the seemingly meaningless variation of the views of God's word. Seeing my own thoughts so clearly written on the life of a man who ultimately took a path at odds with virtually every other Christian denomination forced me to look deeper into my own thoughts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Follow me briefly while I endeavor to define a few terms:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What is religion?</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Postulates</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Deity</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Deity is what we call that for which we all yearn; the 'God shaped hole' in our soul, the need for something more. Call it Jesus, God, Father, Yahwey, Enlightenment, the Great Spirit, the Holy Ghost, or the Great Turtle; virtually all humans yearn for something that we cannot find in either ourselves or in relationships with others. This is deity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Spirituality</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Spirituality is how we define the way that we both commune and communicate with deity. Meditation, prayer, silence, stillness, listening; we all have a way that works best for us, a means of becoming one with and understanding deity. Spirituality is our understanding of deity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Religion</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Religion is the codification of spirituality such that it may be shared with (or forced upon) others. Religion is the Bible, the Talmud, the Torah, the Koran, the Gnostic scrolls, the Essene scrolls, and the Hindu Song of the Lord. Religion is the tool by which we communicate first the spirituality of an individual, then the spirituality of a group.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Assumptions</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Knowledge of deity</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No one person can ever fully comprehend or understand deity. Deity is by definition greater than a mortal being. If any one mortal being could fully comprehend or understand deity, it would either not be deity or that mortal being would also be a deity (re: the Son of Man). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The will of deity for the individual</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Each individual has a unique path defined by her skills and experience, her intelligence, suffering, and characteristics such as humility and empathy, and her spirituality; her relationship with deity. No two people could be expected to ever have exactly the same <i>directive, mission, goal, or objective</i> from deity; as each of us is unique, no two of us could fulfill exactly the same requirements. Nor could any two people be expected to understand a <i>directive, mission, goal, or objective</i> in the same way even were they both given the same!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The parable of the blind men and an elephant</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">From Wikipedia:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>The story of the blind men and an elephant originated in the Indian subcontinent from where it has widely diffused. It has been used to illustrate a range of truths and fallacies; broadly, the parable implies that one's subjective experience can be true, but that such experience is inherently limited by its failure to account for other truths or a totality of truth. At various times the parable has provided insight into the relativism, opaqueness or inexpressible nature of truth, the behavior of experts in fields where there is a deficit or inaccessibility of information, the need for communication, and respect for different perspectives.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">19th century Hindu mystic Ramakrishna Paramahamsa used this parable to discourage dogmatism:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>A number of blind men came to an elephant. Somebody told them that it was an elephant. The blind men asked, ‘What is the elephant like?’ and they began to touch its body. One of them said: 'It is like a pillar.' This blind man had only touched its leg. Another man said, ‘The elephant is like a husking basket.’ This person had only touched its ears. Similarly, he who touched its trunk or its belly talked of it differently.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The common reaction to difference views is to proclaim that that one of the views must be correct, while the others are wrong. Our society is based on teaching children to strive for first place, the blue ribbon. At the Olympic ceremonies winners of the Gold medal stand triumphantly in the center and above the winners of the Silver and Bronze, who are often crying hysterically that each was <i>only</i> second or third best at her chosen sport <i>in the entire world</i>. Game shows have winners who make thousands or millions (re: Slum Dog Millionaire), and losers, from second-place loser down. You are either <i>the </i>winner, or you are <i>a</i> loser. You are either right, or you are wrong. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">While this philosophy may appear normal or perhaps even correct in the classical school of thought where <i>f=ma</i> and <i>e=mc2</i>, we only think we're smart. In 1 Corinthians 1 Paul says that; <i>God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Like the blind men who each felt confident based on his <i>observations</i>, we like to pat ourselves on the backs confidently and believe that, since we can see and touch something it must be true. Yet mysteries abound, shaming both our strength and our wisdom.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We can't define the formula by which a zebra's stripes are both completely unique, with no two zebra ever having lived that has the same pattern, yet each pattern even in the absence of the shape of the animal is recognizable immediately as uniquely that of the zebra. We know that there is a formula. We know that it is probably in the DNA; a genetic sequence. But we can't define it. We don't know it's language. We know neither the grammar nor the syntax.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some of, or perhaps solely, the oldest living things are trees. Bristlecone pines live to be over five thousand years old, thought to be older, for an individual life form, than any other living entity. During the course of millenia each tree persists through flood, famine, fire, ice, storms, and abuse of many kinds. There are no tree firemen, emergency rooms, doctors, or engineers. Each tree must survive the abuse of Time herself to live to the age of Methuselah. When damaged, rather than remove and replace the damaged component or part, the damage is isolated by a barrier zone which both prevents the spread of the injury and supports the structure around it. The damaged area becomes a part of the tree itself, allowed to remain with the whole, but limited in the damage it can inflict.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The damaged, or simply different, part is neither rejected nor does it become unlike a tree. It is contained within the tree itself, accepted as part of the whole for all the millenia that the tree lives. Paul recognized this natural phenomena in 1 Corinthians 12; <i>The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.dingtwist.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/24-Amazing-Trees1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://www.dingtwist.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/24-Amazing-Trees1.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Trees respond to wounding or injury in two ways: compartmentalization and the development of barrier zones (Shigo 1986).</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Compartmentalization</i></span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>When a tree is wounded, the injured tissue is not repaired and does not heal. Trees do not heal; they seal. If you look at an old wound, you will notice that it does not “heal” from the inside out, but eventually the tree covers the opening by forming specialized “callus” tissue around the edges of the wound. After wounding, new wood growing around the wound forms a protective boundary preventing the infection or decay from spreading into the new tissue. Thus, the tree responds to the injury by “compartmentalizing” or isolating the older, injured tissue with the gradual growth of new, healthy tissue.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Barrier Zones</i></span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Not only do trees try to close the damaged tissue from the outside, they also make the existing wood surrounding the wound unsuitable for spread of decay organisms. Although these processes are not well understood, the tree tries to avoid further injury by setting chemical and physical boundaries around the infected cells, reacting to the pathogen and confining the damage.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Life does not operate on the principles of math or science as we understand them. Life operates on a formula so simple that it can be contained within each cell among the trillion, trillion, trillion..., while defining beauty as elegant as the stripes of a zebra or an individual snowflake; yet so complex that it can define the life of a tree, the colors of a butterfly, or the song of a whale. </span><br />
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<a href="http://sotinpc.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/1-backyard-butterflies-10-12-0911.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="214" src="http://sotinpc.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/1-backyard-butterflies-10-12-0911.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Life is not binary. Life does not have the concept of right or wrong. Life is a ballet of variation, a dance so chaotic that it defies even the imagination while painting rainbows of beauty among us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Why would the will of deity, the will of God, be any different? Why would we limit God to only the rewarding of Gold, Silver, or Bronze medals? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There have always been those such as Joseph Smith who will seek to lay the label of right or wrong on the musings of others, and the labels of heretic or blasphemer on those with whom they disagree. The path is well blazed; our earliest writings from every culture seek to define right verses wrong, good verses evil, lawful verses unlawful. Our very society consists of red lights and green lights, with only a yellow light to <i>warn </i>that you are approaching a point of no return, but rarely any intermediate ground between extremes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I find myself distressingly eager to follow suit, to proclaim that I have <i>figured it out</i>. That I now <i>understand</i>. That I have <i>the answer</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have begun to question my own faith, not because I question my belief in deity, nor because I question my spirituality. I have begun to question my faith because I am becoming aware that I have based it on religion; the codification of someone else's spirituality. I do not mean that it is my intent to discard my bibles and start meditating while seeking deity without the influence or knowledge of others to guide me. I mean only that I find myself wanting to back away from the categorization of deity and spirituality as if they were a taxonomy of kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, and species. I am not sure that I want to know how many angels may simultaneously dance on the head of a pin. I am not sure that I am meant to know. I am becoming more convinced that I do not even wish to engage in that line of rhetoric.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have begun to question whether it is possible that both Joseph Smith and I can be correct in our understanding of deity, in our spirituality. Can the faith of the Methodists be just as true as the faith of the Baptists? Can Greek orthodoxy be no less true than Catholic? Can Mormons be just as righteous as Presbyterians? Can Buddhists know what Christians do not and can Christians share knowledge with Muslims? Could Jehovah's Witnesses and the Metropolitan Community Church understand the same truth? Can we all be blind, or are we simply myopic?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Can it be true both that it is not a sin for me to be gay, and that homosexuality is a sin? Can it be true both that it is <i>a disgrace for a woman to speak in the church,</i> and that <i>there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus</i>. Can it be both that <i>whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant</i>, and that there are those who can piously say; <i>I exhort you, be imitators of me</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Romans 14 Paul admonishes us to; <i>Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall.</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He continues to make the thought more comprehensive; <i>One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He makes the radical statements that; <i>I am convinced... that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean... But whoever has doubts is condemned... and everything that does not come from faith is sin.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He summarizes with; <i>Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. If your brother or sister is distressed [by what you do]... you are no longer acting in love... Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of [belief]... it is wrong for a person to [do] anything that causes someone else to stumble...</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have applied some selective editing to Paul's statements, but it has been primarily to consolidate his comments into categories and understand them as pertaining to and about more than just culinary issues. You may, of course, read them directly from your own bible and see them in the order intended by the apostle...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He includes an interesting remark; <i>Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Is he referring to the faith of the individual? Is he exhorting us to respect the spirituality of each person, and her right to her own communion with and understanding of deity? Reading much of Paul's writings you may not be able to draw this conclusion from his message here. But consider that he wrote the following two passages both in the same letter, 1 Corinthians:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Paul was quite capable of holding multiple opposing thoughts in his head simultaneously, or at least within a short span of time. I wonder if I should, rather than dislike him as an egomaniacal, homophobic, misogynist with psychotic tendencies; perhaps I should instead admire his insanity, his passion, and his dedication, accepting the thread of madness, the break from reality, that seemingly bonds us to a common refusal to accept both the extremes and the simplistic judgment of a traffic light.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Does Paul make the the lunacy of the <i>Book of the Revelation of Saint John the Divine</i> seem mundane by comparison? Was Paul's spiritual gift the ability to both see and have compassion for the extreme positions of the omnivore and the vegetarian, the prostitute and the pious, the priest and the plebeian? Should I pay more attention to Paul, or am I doing the equivalent of finding messages encoded in the letters running diagonally in the scripture, of hearing the voices of dead men by playing the music of the Beatles backwards?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mystic Paramahamsa finishes his version of the parable of the blind men and the elephant with this:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>In the same way, he who has seen the Lord in a particular way limits the Lord to that alone and thinks that He is nothing else.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What I have begun to understand and which I have written about here may impact my own studies and my own beliefs little. I still believe the best way for me to understand the word of God is through the filter of the words, actions, and meanings of Jesus of Nazareth. What is changing for me, and I think may lead to a new understanding of deity and of my own spirituality is the acceptance of others. And that may impact my own studies and my own beliefs dramatically.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have always been willing to listen to the opinions of those with whom I did not agree. I have always maintained that, were I to make the effort to understand their perspective, their opinion, albeit <i>right </i>or <i>wrong</i>, would be of value to me. I have had trouble applying this same principle to my spirituality. The orthodoxy of the inerrant and infallible Bible has dogged even me, who has run the gamut from outspoken atheist to evangelical Christian. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What I think may be the most profound change that this new awareness will impact upon me is the way I share my beliefs and my experience with others. If I, by what I eat, may cause another to sin, should I not <i>eat what is set before me</i> as Jesus admonishes the seventy in Luke before sending them out? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Perhaps even if I am correct in my understanding of His word, I can be incorrect in sharing it with you if I do not do so with compassion for your beliefs and your spirituality.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if my interpretation and understanding of His word are less important to my doing His will than are my acceptance and encouragement of the faith of others? What if I I can be a better servant of His word by encouraging my Mormon friend to refresh her own faith than I can were I to try and convert her to mine?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In John 13 Jesus tells us; </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if He really meant all that stuff He said?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-43730392265686074282014-01-02T06:24:00.002-06:002014-01-02T06:24:52.487-06:00Suffering<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've read a lot about suffering recently. I've experienced suffering. I still suffer, much as we all do. I have accepted God into my life and dedicated myself to doing His will. I want to understand why there is so much suffering.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>The Case For Faith</i>, Lee Strobel relates a story from an interview; </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>On my door is a cartoon of two turtles. One says, “Sometimes I would like to ask why God allows poverty, famine, and injustice when he could do something about it.” The other turtle says “I am afraid that God might ask me the same question.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I often use Hebrews 8 in my conversations and writing; </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I will put my laws in their minds</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> and write them on their hearts.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I will be their God,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> and they will be my people.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>No longer will they teach their neighbor,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>because they will all know me,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> from the least of them to the greatest.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>For I will forgive their wickedness</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> and will remember their sins no more</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 3 comes up along with Hebrews 8:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Luke 17 follows immediately after:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: red;">The Kingdom of God is in your midst.</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In the Old Testament God was with His people every day. He gave them hundreds of laws about how to act and He interfered daily in their lives. They resented Him and ignored Him because of it. They would obey the laws but seemed to miss the spirit, the intent of them; to glorify God. When Jesus came He brought the New Covenant. God still does touch us occasionally. He healed me. But God has essentially passed the baton to us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We are the lucky ones. The addicts, alcoholics, manic depressives; those of us who struggle with demons that threaten to consume us. Most people go through life with enough money and the stuff it buys to be comfortable and to not need God in their lives. When I was finally able to pray while in treatment, I thanked Him for allowing me to take a path and to take up burdens that weakened me so much that I could hear Him. Before, I was so strong I thought I didn't need Him. My suffering was God's siren call.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've never asked Him for anything since except for understanding of His will. As the 11th step states; <i>I Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will and the power to carry that out.</i> Actually I have asked for one thing; I told Him to point me at the bus and I'd throw myself under it if that's what He needed, but I did ask for enough time so my kids would know that I got clean and got off the street before He needs me to go. That's all I care about really.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Without suffering I would have never known God. Without suffering we wouldn't get the chance to do His work and feel how wonderful it is to help one another. I know it could sound trite and self serving to say that you suffer so I can feel better about myself by helping you. I will admit that I do feel a twinge of guilt for the joy I receive when I help someone else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because God has left the Hebrew temple and has taken up residence in each of us, we get to do His work, experiencing His joy. Because of suffering, we get to help others. I would never have known the joy of helping other addicts had I not become one. I cannot even begin to imagine how this sets right all the suffering in the world, nor will I make the argument that it does. I can only speak to what God conveys to me; when I help others, I am doing His work, and when I help others I become more like Him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Philip Yancey wrote that, in his research on suffering, he spoke with people all over the globe who were dedicated to service; <i>I was prepared to honor and admire these servants, to uphold them as inspiring examples. I was not prepared to envy them.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't envy me. But I'd rather be me, now, the former addict and prostitute, than me, formerly, believing in nothing but cold, hard cash and that I was all alone in a huge universe. I wish that I could have gotten here by an easier path, but if I had, how would I understand those who have come by the harder path?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. -</i></span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"> Martin Luther King Jr.</i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-53953081461853253942013-12-31T10:30:00.000-06:002013-12-31T13:32:07.574-06:00Steps 4 & 5; They Shall Take Up Serpents<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I was a child of perhaps eleven or twelve my family went camping for a week on Lake Buchanan near Burnet, TX. We had a small boat and stayed out till almost midnight fishing in a slew the first night. Sometime well after dark we began to see snakes; water moccasins, cottonmouth. They began circling us and, before long, we had perhaps ten or twelve serpents of various sizes circling the boat, looking for a way in. Apparently they are a curious species. My little brother huddled in the bottom of the boat shivering in fear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The next day we set out snake traps. You catch a small fish such as a perch or bluegill, perhaps two to four inches long, and instead of releasing it, you pass a piece of fishing line through its gills, leave about four to five feet and tie the other end to a tree or root at the waters edge. The fish is now tethered in the shallows. At night water moccasins cruise the shallows looking for food. When one swallows the tethered fish he is trapped. He swallows it head first because of its fins, but since it is tied securely with nylon line he can't get away, and he can't spit it back up because of its fins!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The next morning we went out and checked the traps. I would lay out on the prow of the boat as my stepfather would nose it up to where we'd put out a trap, then cut the line and pull the snake into the boat. I'll never forget their eyes. Small, red, beady eyes. I've never seen such malevolence, such hatred. Their mouths would gape open displaying fangs the length of my finger dripping with venom. They don't actually make any sound, water moccasins. That actually makes them even more terrifying.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have a picture of me back at the camp holding one up that was as long as I was tall, perhaps five feet, and as thick as my arm, perhaps three to four inches across. I thought we'd killed all the serpents. How foolish I was.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My demons all have the beady, red, malevolent eyes of the snakes that I thought I'd killed. They all have the gaping white maw with long curved fangs dripping with venom. They are neither dead nor gone. They all live under my bed in the darkness, lurking there, ready to strike if I am so foolish as to reach under.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I will put enmity between you and the woman, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and between your offspring and hers. Genesis 3</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">With the 4th and 5th steps I'm now told I need to reach under my bed and, one by one, pull out my demons and hold them close to my breast while they strike at my soul, pumping the venom of my past into my body, ripping out bloody chunks of whatever self esteem I have mustered.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus told us that; <i><span style="color: red;">...these signs shall follow them that believe... t</span></i></span><i><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">hey shall take up serpents... </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents... and nothing shall by any means hurt you.</span> Mark 16:17 and Luke 10:19. </span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But He was saying that to His disciples.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Before I asked Him to guide my life, I felt like a falling leaf, screaming insanely, hysterically into the wind. After I was filled with the Holy Spirit it was as if He had reached out and plucked me from the maelstrom and had grafted me back onto the vine. I still felt the storm raging around me, whistling past my ears and whipping my body, but I felt rooted. I felt so strongly rooted that I knew I could not fall again. I knew that there was nothing I could do to maintain that bond except to accept it. <i>For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But it is by works that I maintain my willingness to accept that grace, feeling perhaps that I must earn the right to be loved. Feeling perhaps guilty for the pleasure I feel in helping others. It is by fellowship with others who believe in Him and who understand addiction that I find the strength not to hide from Him, ashamed of my nakedness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Am I truly capable of following Him? I think I know why Peter reportedly asked to be crucified upside down; I don't even feel worthy enough to read His word. How can I feel worthy of His touch? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Am I not evil? Am I not a daughter of Satan himself? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Do I not despise those around me, hating their faults because I hate my own, hiding my self-loathing with verses, quotes, and pithy commentary?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Antony and Cleopatra, William Shakespeare wrote; <i>In time we hate that which we often fear</i>. Carl Jung wrote; <i>Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.</i> Do I have to love myself before I can love others? If I can only despise myself do I have only the capacity to loathe those around me? Can I not be His disciple, accepting the power to <i><span style="color: red;">take up serpents</span></i> until I love myself? Is the only way to love myself that of seeing myself only through His eyes? If so, how can I see through His eyes or understand through His thoughts; how can I comprehend His magnificence when I am so insignificant?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: red; font-style: italic;">By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.</span><i> John 13:35</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What happens when I am forced to scratch into the mire that lies in the depths of my soul, releasing the stench of evil from my past, tasting the bitterness of the wickedness in which I once reveled? How can I face such wickedness and not want to recoil from His touch, as if I, by touching Him, could contaminate Him. As if I, so evil as to feel kinship with the serpent, am frightened of His touch, even experiencing pain from the clarity of His gaze.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As odd as it seems, the darkness beckons me. It seems comforting to give up, to consider myself beyond help, unworthy of my own love, let alone His. Being driven by the maelstrom seems in a macabre sense preferable to relying on Him for shelter from the storm. Is this why Christians leave His way? Is this why those who are evil will scream to the mountains <span style="color: red; font-style: italic;">Fall on us!</span> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and to the hills, <span style="color: red; font-style: italic;">“Cover us!</span> (Luke 23)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.” 2 Peter 2.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm a runner. I always have been. I truly do not know if I will be able to do my 4th step, simply writing out evils of my past, handling my serpent demons one by one, being forced to apologize to my monsters for my pathetic and ill-fated attempts to strangle them. If I can't even write it out, how can I discuss it with another person? I ask God to forgive my wickedness, but I can't even verbalize the words to describe the bile for which I am asking forgiveness. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">How can I face a woman whom (who? whom? <i>Inquiring minds want to know</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">) I respect and love (in the disciple sense... get your thoughts out of the gutter!), and who I think of as a friend; how can I face her and verbalize what I cannot verbalize to God. It would do no good were my confessor a stranger; then I wouldn't see the point of the exercise and I still have the issue of not being able to even write this stuff down. Yes, I know that you 'think' that I've written it down here because you've read it. Let me assure you that I have yet even to disturb the surface of the brackish waters at the bottom of my soul.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: red;">Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.</span> John 3.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">She's read my blog. She'll probably read this. She's smart enough that it is likely she'll realize I'm far too distant from reality to be helped. How often have I walked away from someone, assuming that she would walk away from me if she only knew me, and walking away before she rejected me would hurt less than the rejection itself? I don't know if I'll even be able to talk about steps 4 and 5 without getting up and just walking off.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>...</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Shall be lifted - nevermore!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Edgar Allen Poe</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-32366463489124222062013-12-27T08:01:00.003-06:002013-12-29T08:35:43.493-06:00Jesus' First Apostle Was A Woman<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Luke 10 tells us that Jesus and His disciples came to the house of a woman named Martha. She had a sister named Mary who sat at the His feet listening to what he said. Martha was busy preparing her house and food for her guests. She asked Jesus; <i>Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!</i> Jesus gently told her; <span style="color: red;"><i>Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. </i></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He had the opportunity to chastise Mary and 'put her in her place', but He did not! Instead He insisted that she was doing what she should be doing, listening to Him teach!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In John 4, Jesus stopped just outside the village of Sychar at the Well of Jacob. The disciples had gone into town for food. When a Samaritan woman approached the well, He asked her for a drink. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When Jesus saw the woman He asked her for a drink. Confused, she asked Him; </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?</i> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Samaritans were considered to be 'half breeds' by the Jews and, as social outcasts, were considered to be 'unclean'. Jews were not allowed to even drink from a vessel that a Samaritan had touched, nor were they allowed to eat with them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus began to teach her; </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water... Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When the woman asked Jesus to give her a drink of His water, He told her to go and call her husband and then come back. She responded that she had no husband. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus told her; <span style="color: red;"><i>You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true. </i></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus already knew that she didn't have a husband! He brought it up so He could tell her that He knew, and to let her know that, to Him, it simply didn't matter. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Having been divorced five times and living in adultery only added moral guilt to the social stigma this woman already carried as a Samaritan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As Jesus continued to teach her, the woman said, <i>I know the Messiah is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.</i> Jesus then tells her;</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> <span style="color: red;"><i>I, the one speaking to you—I am he. </i></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the first time Jesus revealed himself as the Messiah! It is the clearest He ever states it! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When the disciples rejoined Him they were surprised that He was talking to a woman! A prominent Rabbi of early Christian times, Rabbi Eliezer ben Hurcanis reflects the attitude of the Pharisees and teachers of the law when he stated that; <i>Instructing a woman in the Law is like teaching her </i><i>blasphemy</i>, <i>Let the Law be burned rather than entrusted to a woman</i>, and <i>A woman's wisdom </i><i>is limited to the handling of the [spinning wheel].</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The disciples urged Him to eat something but He told them; </span><i><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"I have food you don't know about. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My food, is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." </span></span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He was gaining strength and joy from teaching the Samaritan woman! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus stayed for two days at the village and many were converted, first by the testimony of the woman and then by the teachings of Jesus.</span><br />
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Jesus taught women as He taught none other than His disciples. He made it clear that He would only speak to the masses in parables, but that He would reveal the truth to His disciples. A woman was the first person to whom He revealed the ultimate truth, that He is the Messiah!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">His first apostle, His first missionary, was a woman!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He spoke clearly and plainly to women. He helped them to understand how important, how loved, and how equal they are.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Matthew 12, as Jesus is teaching; someone tells Him that His mother and brothers are outside. He looked at those whom he was teaching and stated simply; <span style="color: red;">"</span></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.</span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Because He was teaching women, He used the gender inclusive word 'whoever' both to indicate that there were women in the crowd and that whoever does the will of His Father is His brother, sister, and mother. Jesus again went against tradition by including women in His teachings as equals to men.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u><b>Jesus greatest compassion was towards women</b></u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The final act of Jesus was to provide care for His mother. In John 19, the text says that He looked at John from His horrible throne on the cross and told him; <span style="color: red;"><i>"This is your mother."</i></span> Looking at His mother He told her; <i style="color: red;">"</i></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>This is your son.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i style="color: red;">"</i> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">His message to his </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">dear friend John was to not go out preaching, but to stay with His (now John's) mother, act as her son, and take </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">care of her for as long as she lived.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus sternly rebuked Simon the Pharisee when i</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">n Luke 7</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">, while Jesus was a guest in Simon's house, a 'sinful' woman came in and, crying, anointed Jesus' feet with perfume and tears. Simon mutters that, were Jesus a prophet, He would know that the woman was a 'sinner' ('unclean' from a Pharisees point of view) and would not allow her to touch Him. Jesus spoke sharply to Simon, effectively telling him that 'she who is forgiven much, loves much, and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">this woman </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">has loved me more than you'! He tells the woman gently <span style="color: red;"><i>"</i></span></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Your sins are forgiven... Your faith has saved you. Go in peace</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;"><i>"</i></span>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Luke 8, we are told that a woman who had suffered from bleeding for 12 years approached from behind and touched the tassel of His robe. Instantly her bleeding stopped. When the woman saw that she was discovered, she came trembling and fell down before Him. Women who were menstruating were considered 'unclean' by Jewish law. By touching Him she had made Him also 'unclean'. A typical response to this by a Rabbi or Pharisee would have been outrage. In the presence of all the people, she declared the reason she had touched Him and how she was instantly cured. Jesus told her; <span style="color: red;"><i>"Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace."</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In John 8, a woman who is caught in adultery is brought to Him by the Rabbis and Pharisees. He is asked what should be done of her. As always, the establishment goons were trying to set Him up. Hebrew law said she must be stoned to death, but Roman law said that Hebrews could not execute the death penalty. Were this not the case, collaborators would have rapidly disappeared, and all occupations rely heavily on collaboration by the occupied peoples. If Jesus said she should be stoned, He was violating Roman law and the Pharisees could charge Him to Pilate. If Jesus said she should not be stoned, He was violating Hebrew law and they would use that to condemn him to the Sanhedrin (the ruling [collaborationist] council).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus simply told them; <i><span style="color: red;">"Let those among you who are without sin cast the first stone."</span></i> The bible tells us that they all slowly began to leave until none were left. Imagine the scene here for a minute. The woman was having sex with someone, in the throes of passion, when, somehow, she was discovered and dragged off by an angry crowd of men. Ezekial 23, Danial 9, and Hosea 2 all speak of stripping an adulterous naked. It is likely that this woman was stripped naked by this abusive crowd while she was being dragged, screaming, crying, and begging to what she believed would be a death by stoning. It is likely that the men beat her while they were doing so, certainly they were not gentle with her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I strange mystic, a holy man, has now said only a few words and all of these men have slowly left, but she is still standing there, trying to cover her body after a lifetime of having been told how shameful it is for a woman to even show the hair of her head in public. She is filthy with dust, sweat, and her face is streaked with tears. Her nose is running and she is probably still crying hysterically. Jesus then does something strange. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> Jesus asked the woman; </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> He could have simply sent her on her way, but He wanted her to take the time to understand and accept what had happened! He wanted her to accept and verbalize that all were sinners, and so there were none who could judge her!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The woman answers simply; "No one Sir". Jesus replies simply; </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: red;">"Then neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin."</span></i> It would be a mistake to focus on the last sentence, where Jesus told her to <i>"...leave your life of sin."</i> The focus should be on the understanding and the compassion that went into Jesus' decision to ensure that she did not leave with overwhelming guilt and shame. None of the men were fit to judge her! Not a single one!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>(If I am completely honest, I have often wondered; couldn't he have given her his coat? Perhaps He did and it just didn't make it into the final draft of the story!)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u><b>Women supported Jesus' financially</b></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Luke 8 tells us that "Jesus traveled from one city and village to another. He spread the Good News about God’s kingdom. The twelve apostles were with him. Also, some women were with him. They had been cured from evil spirits and various illnesses. These women were Mary, also called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out; Joanna, whose husband Chusa was Herod’s administrator; Susanna; and many other women. They provided financial support for Jesus and his disciples." If you understand His message you simply cannot belief that He would allow women that He would have allowed women to travel with and support Him and His mission financially were they not trusted and loved by Him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Women were the last at the cross and the first at the tomb</u></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Gospels of Matthew and Mark include only women who stayed with Christ at the cross. Luke mentions women specifically but also others who had followed Him at the cross but at a distance. Only John includes someone other than women at the cross; John includes himself being there. All of the eleven remaining disciples, and all of His followers fled, except for John, speaking in his own account. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Peter, whom he nicknamed the 'Rock', probably humorously due to Peter being a bit less than convicted on issues which he took up; Peter was not there. James and John, the sons of Zebedee's who had argued over who would sit on Jesus' right and left were conspicuously absent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Women were the first to see Him resurrected, taking the news to the cowardly eleven. The were the first at the tomb, going to take care of His body while the men had hidden themselves behind locked doors to argue about how they would organize, if at all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u><b>Jesus spoke of equality</b></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Matthew 20 Jesus forbade any hierarchy in Christian relationships, presumably including both women and men: <span style="color: red;"><i>"You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you."</i></span> His was not meant to be a Kingdom of master and servant, but of His love and of those who love Him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Luke 13 He speaks of a woman whom He healed as a <i><span style="color: red;">"...daughter of Abraham..."</span></i>! This phrase was unheard of when applied to men. In biblical times only men inherited the glory of the patriarchal line.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Mark 12 Jesus praises the paltry offering saying that; <i><span style="color: red;">"Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."</span></i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> He wanted to make it clear that this woman was at least the equal of the rich and powerful. He actually made it clear that she was more than equal!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u><b>Jesus treated all women with kindness and respect</b></u></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus always treated women with courtesy, respect, kindness, and compassion. He made it very clear that He was here for the poor and the weak. There were none more weak when He was on this earth than women; too often there are none weaker now. Jesus was here for women just as He was here for the sick and the poor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you read His message carefully, and ask God for understanding, He will show this to you. He said in Jeremiah 31 and Hebrews 8 </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i> after that time, declares the Lord.</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I will put my laws in their minds </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and write them on their hearts.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I will be their God, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and they will be my people.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No longer will they teach their neighbor, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">because they will all know me, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">from the least of them to the greatest.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For I will forgive their wickedness </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">and will remember their sins no more."</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He made no references to gender in His promise, stating simply that <i>"...they will all know me..."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You really have two options here:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Option 1 - You can believe what Jesus said, understand what Jesus did, and accept what God spoke. You can accept His word, as the Trinity, before you accept any other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Option 2 - You can disregard Jesus' message, words, and actions, and disregard God's promise, and you can instead choose to believe what a mortal man tells you regarding the bible. You can pick and choose verses in the bible and use them to negate the message, words, and actions of Jesus and to negate the promise of God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus told us that the most important commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, and all our souls, and all our minds. Do you really think He just accidentally let 'minds' slip into what He said? He meant exactly what He said. God's covenant with us conveys the same message <i>"N</i></span><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">o longer will they teach their neighbor, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’ </span></i><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">because they will all know me...</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"...they will all know me..."</i>!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus told you to use your head, to justify your love for God with an understanding of that love. God told us that He will speak directly to each of us and help us understand His will. Who are you going to trust? Jesus and God and the word of the Holy Spirit, or the writings of apostles who fled from him, bickered among themselves, condemned each other while beating their chests in righteous pride.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Choose wisely, but know that Jesus and God are on your side.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-75510373395522133552013-12-25T13:21:00.004-06:002013-12-25T13:21:45.710-06:00The hatred of the ducks.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been doing some research for a new blog entry which I have tentatively entitled "The First Apostle Was A Woman". It should be obvious that it is simply my own spin on how Jesus treated women and, as it is my wont to do, I will counter some of the misogynistic rhetoric in other parts of the New Testament.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What is relevant to this conversation is something that I noticed on closer inspection of the twin stories of the Samaritan adulteress and the caught adulteress in John 4 and 8. When the Samaritan adulteress tells Jesus she doesn't have a husband He says <span style="color: red;">"The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.."</span> He effectively tells the woman; "I know exactly who you are, and I know exactly what you've done." He then goes on to use this woman as His first apostle, His first missionary, in order to convert many in the village of Sychar. He never once mentions her adultery again! He doesn't even tell her to <span style="color: red;">"...sin no more"</span> as He tells the woman in John 8.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After the crazy people with rocks have left in John 8, Jesus asks the accused woman: <span style="color: red;">"Where are they? Has no one condemned you?"</span> She answers simply "No one sir." Do you see what He did here? He wants her to understand and accept that no one can condemn her! Only after He has allowed her time to grasp what has happened does He continue with <span style="color: red;">"Then neither do I condemn you."</span> Had He just said this without asking for her to confirm for herself what had happened, she might have missed that very important point. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus was really very clear on this issue; not only no one can condemn us, He doesn't either, and He may not even mention it other than to make sure we know that He knows... but He's still going to use us for His purpose.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is very difficult for me to read much of the New Testament; Peter states: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Peter says this! Peter! Remember Peter? The guy who denied Jesus three times! The guy who ran screaming like a little girl and left Jesus at Golgoltha! The Peter whom Jesus rebuked saying <span style="color: red;">"Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men."</span> Yes! That Peter! The Peter of whom Paul (nee Saul of Tarsus) wrote "When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong." The Peter that, on asking Jesus how many times we should forgive our brother Jesus answered "seventy times seven". The very same Peter that Jesus rebuked (yet again) saying; <span style="color: red;">"Oh ye of little faith, why did you doubt?"</span>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, this is the Peter who says that there are no second chances! In Hebrews 6:4-8 the writer states a similar position.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">How can someone like Peter come up with a boneheaded statement like that? You can almost feel Jesus' frustration with all the disciples when He says repeatedly; <span style="color: red;">"Oh ye of little faith..."</span> and <span style="color: red;">"how long must I put up with this faithless generation?"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">And don't even get me started about the megalomaniacal, homophobic, misogynistic, near sighted... well... you know who I'm talking about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The more I study the message of Jesus specifically and the bible generally as an informed (and only slightly demented) adult, the more patience I have with retards like duck boy. (Ooops! Was that politically incorrect?), the patriarch of Duck Dynasty that recently said some pretty ignorant stuff. If the men who actually lived with Jesus for years could come off as hair brained as Peter, what percentage of men in the modern world could possibly understand His message? (Women are a separate subject, to be covered by a future essay...).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What chance does anyone even have to understand the bible really? The vast majority of churches have the words 'infallible' and 'inerrant' plastered all over their dogma; if you so much as hiccup while reading Paul you are ejected from membership!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 5:9-13 said: <i>"I </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters; for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler— not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So much for removing the log from your own eye...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's our own fault really. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Martin Niemöller (1892–1984) said:</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>First they came for the Communists,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Communist.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Then they came for the Socialists,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Socialist.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Then they came for the trade unionists,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Then they came for me,</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>and there was no one left to speak for me.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been volunteering at the Women's Residential Unit at the rehab center where I spent some time recently. I've begun to participate in the bible study that the local church gives for the group; as a graduate I can still attend. I've been bringing fruit and books over weekly. I worked with the bible study group to make twelve stockings for the women that I took over today and I have bags of more stuff to take over tomorrow, then I'll be over Wednesday with fruit, and New Years Eve with juice and stuff. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I'm working on a couple of affirmational flyers such as my aforementioned blog entry. I plan to include these with a 'newcomers bag' that will include a bible, AA big book, devotional, a snack, some NA literature, a pen and journal, fuzzy socks, etc. I've decided I'm just going to call it like I see it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus Rocks. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you don't get that you cannot condemn anyone and that no one can condemn you, you probably need to go back and focus more on Christianity and less on the Pauline message (Paulianity) that modern fundamentalists love so much. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if He really meant all that stuff He said? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Paul said "But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse!"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Seriously? Even an angel Paul? Wow! Now that's what I call humble!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus, the actual Christ, not Paul, who wasn't - said: <span style="color: red;">"</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">Blessed are the meek... blessed are the merciful..."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's our own fault that we let people cherry pick hate rhetoric from the bible and beat on 'the meek' calling it Christianity. I've decided to start calling people out on it. Not in a mean way... but clearly and succinctly. I've decided to stick up for people like those women in rehab who've been beaten, raped, and abused most of their lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus, the real Messiah, not Peter, who was often a bit erratic - said: <span style="color: red;">"</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't expect to win any popularity contests.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus the Redeemer, not Luke, although Luke didn't write as a misogynist even though his teacher was Paul and Paul's letters came before Luke and Acts... ever wonder why? - said: <span style="color: red;">"</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me... Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As for duck boy; I guess it's a bit judgmental of me to think of him as pathetic. But hey! I don't claim to know more than angels! Who's a sinner? Me!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Give me an 'E'! 'L'! 'I'! 'S'! 'H'! 'E'! ...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"In the end it is not the words of our enemies that we will remember, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King, Jr.</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-62993932169205345312013-12-25T13:16:00.000-06:002013-12-25T13:16:14.217-06:00Who is a Christian?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wikipedia says that <i>"The Greek word Χριστιανός (Christianos)—meaning "follower of Christ"—comes from Χριστός (Christos)—meaning "anointed one" —with an adjectival ending borrowed from Latin to denote adhering to, or even belonging to, as in slave ownership."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 5 says; <i>"But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people. What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So here Paul is (apparently) saying to 'kill them all and let God sort them out'. Jesus may have disagreed with his choice of dinner companions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 4:5 says; <i>"Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Paul writes this only moments before. You can find this dichotomy in his rhetoric throughout his writings if you're reading it with an open mind. This has led me to think of Paul as a bit psychotic. Not that being mentally deranged is a bad thing! I rather enjoy it myself! But I don't expect people to follow my dictates slavishly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Galatians 1 says; <i>"</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse!"</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One must assume at this point that Paul doesn't even realize how often he preaches a gospel other than the one that Jesus Himself did. Psychotic? Schizophrenic? Egomaniacal?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Galatians 2 says; <i>"</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>When Peter came to Antioch, I told him face to face that he was wrong."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here Paul is telling us that Jesus beloved disciple Peter, the 'rock' on whom He would build His church, is wrong, and Paul 'judged' him harshly, publicly, and in perpetuity.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2 Peter 2 says; <i>"</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hebrews 6 says; <i>"</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">From these two quotes in Hebrews and 2 Peter one might assume that Jesus' parable of the vineyard workers (Matthew 20) is null and void. What about Peter and the rest of the disciples? How do they fit into this?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My point is simply this; a Christian is someone who attempts to adhere to the message of Jesus Christ as much as possible. I both 'adhere to' His teachings and 'belong to' Him as His servant. Because of this, my rather direct reading of the Wikipedia definition, I believe myself to be a 'Christian'. If the definition of Christian is expanded beyond that of Wikipedia to mean 'a follower of Paul', then I have no comment... but I haven't found that definition anywhere nor have I found anyone who will admit to practicing 'Paulianity', even while they are in fact doing so.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My own interpretation of this means that Paul was a false prophet in at least some sense of the definition that Jesus gave us. Does that mean I am saying (figuratively) to Paul that <i>'I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.'</i>? Of course it doesn't. Paul had some beautiful stuff to write.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But he wasn't Jesus, the Son of God. When I hear a 'cafeteria Christian' pick and choose passages to support their own prejudice and their own selfish means the words 'false prophet' start pinging in my head. Paul is the Grand Poobah of false prophets. He wrote so much stuff that can be taken out of context so easily all the while being a frustrated and driven man. I admire him greatly, but I do not idolize him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can tell a Christian by how well they follow the beatitudes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I was in rehab we had two to three meetings per day that were ended with the Lord's Prayer. Invariably there would be people complaining about and sniping at one another immediately after. Usually these were women who professed to be Christians, but, even moments after having asked God to 'forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us', they would go right back to cussing and ranting. I brought it up gently to a friend; she flipped me off and quit talking to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Christians follow the message of Jesus of Nazareth as best they can. Everything else is weeds. It's hard to tell the weeds from the wheat when you're nestled down among them, and when you wonder some days in which category you yourself fall, but there is a difference. Jesus gave us the parable. Jesus defined the difference.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend." - Thomas Jefferson</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-44132397719368118452013-12-25T13:12:00.000-06:002013-12-25T13:12:05.786-06:00I don't fear God.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A post on an online forum recently asked the question; "Do you fear God?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I thought (very briefly) of responding to this as I normally write, with a full outline and references and 'twenty-seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was, to be used as evidence' to support my position. But I decided to go all organic on you...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had brain damage due to heavy and long term drug abuse. I ended up homeless and checked myself into a treatment facility. While I was there I got physically better, but I was still afraid of everything and had constant panic attacks even though I was on my meds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I read Yancey's "<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Jesus-I-Never-Knew/dp/031021923X">The Jesus I Never Knew</a>", then reread the New Testament, then reread once again the Gospels in depth. I realized during this that I had found my spirituality in His words; the words He spoke while He was on this earth. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Not having been able to pray for over three decades even with persistent effort while trying to recover in Narcotics Anonymous for the past year, I was finally able to pray after having read His words. I thanked Him for allowing me to take up the burdens and to take the path that had weakened me enough that I could finally hear His voice and understand His message, asking only for help in understanding His will for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The fear, anxiety, guilt, and shame lifted off me. The symptoms of the brain damage are gone. Since then I've only felt peace and calm when I am in His will. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't fear Him. I fear what I was before He found me. He saved me. He healed me. Fearing Him would be (to me) as silly as if Peter had feared Jesus while he was walking on the water. It was Jesus who was going to save him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is God who saved me from my fear. My perspective is that, when I am in a place of fear or anxiety it is because i am separate from Him, I am not in communion with the Counselor. When I am communing with the Counselor I have nothing to fear. I don't fear jail anymore. I don't fear men anymore. I don't fear God. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't fear God; I fear myself! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">God's love, the message of Jesus, is the only thing saving me from myself and from the abyss of madness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>“You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.” - Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-10313764564586275892013-12-25T13:09:00.001-06:002013-12-25T13:09:11.159-06:00Shake it baby! Shake it!<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe in (modified - it isn't gradual, but rather occurs in distinct steps) Darwinian evolution where man evolved from the higher mammals about six million years ago, an earth that formed from gaseous clouds about four and a half billion years ago, and a universe that began about thirteen point seven billion years ago which started both time and space. And yet I still believe in God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a lifelong and devout atheist, engineer, and scientist I still trusted the bible as our most reliable of the sources of ancient history. I'm not going to look up all the data right now and post links, but any serious look will show that we've got a more reliable information trace in both the Old and New Testaments than virtually any other source of ancient history. Archaeology continues to verify biblical history.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Did Christians usurp pagan mythology and holidays? Absolutely. Is the creation story a myth (or parable). Most certainly. And yet I still believe in God.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It's harder some days than others. Every day I ask Him to remind me of what He has done for me and ask him to help me with my unbelief. But I refuse to reject the knowledge that I've accumulated over a lifetime. Would I dismiss it with the advent of new knowledge? For sure! But I'm not going to forget everything I know about genetics, paleoarchaeology, cosmology, quantum theory, chaos theory, etc. just so I can make my friendly neighborhood creationists more comfortable during polite conversation. (I know! I know! When is the last time I've had 'polite conversation' with a creationist?).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The 'God of my understanding', my 'higher power', (you can tell I've been in 12 step programs huh?) is a power that exists outside of space and time. If I could (or if Stephen Hawking or Francis Crick) could define Him in the language of mathematics, physics, or genetics, then He wouldn't be much of a deity really would He?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe that there are hundreds of flood 'myths' around the world (probably) because, at the end of the last ice age, as mile high glaciers were retreating, there were floods. Everywhere. All around the world! The average sea level rose several hundred feet during that time and most ancient civilizations tended to live near oceans. Lots of flood myths; what a shock! We don't really know how long God has been talking to people. Is there any reason to believe that He didn't have conversations with ancient Egyptians and Sumerians, or that He talked with ancient Hebrews who spread the faith word of mouth? Why is the pyramid such a common shape for all prehistoric cultures that build monuments? How did all those big blocks of stone get carried across that valley in that 'ancient aliens show' I saw? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We don't know because they left no records! The records we do have have been scrupulously copied over the past three or four thousand years. Sometimes you just have to go with what you've got!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The one thing that Christianity has that no other faith has is this... and I'm talking about the Christianity where people follow the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, the Carpenter, Mary and Joseph's son, the 'Man', the Big Dog, and not the legalistic religions filled with hate rhetoric that claim to be 'Christ like'... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Christianity has grace. There is nothing we can do to make Him love us less, and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. We're in only by the asking. Every other religion (and including those 'hate rhetoric' religions I referred to earlier) makes you work for your salvation. As Christians we encourage good deeds (please don't quote Paul or James to me here, I'll just quote the parable of the vineyard owner and other of Jesus' words right back at you, and Jesus totally trumps Paul, or James, or Paul and James put together), but Jesus did not require deeds. 'Help me with my unbelief!' was all that He required after He said that 'Everything is possible for one who believes'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus guaranteed paradise to a thief on the cross next to Him based on a simple request, knowing that the thief would never have time for 'works'. He made a point of telling Simon the Pharisee that, she who is forgiven much will love much. He chastised Martha when she wanted her sister Mary to help her around the house, telling Martha that Mary had chosen the wiser course of action, to simply listen to Him speak. Even the great homophobe and misogynist himself (yeah, I poke fun at him but Paul did write some beautiful stuff) got it right when he said: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are a lot of similarities between Christianity and many ancient pagan religions. None of them, and no other modern religion has grace. Salvation by grace, salvation simply because you want it bad enough to wish for it ('Help me with my unbelief!') is completely unique to the message of Jesus the Revolutionary, Joshua, Jesse, the Angry Dude that stomped the stuffing out of the vendors in the temple.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Does the purported similarity between Christianity and other ancient religions shake my faith? Not even a little!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No one has grace but the followers of Jesus Christ.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-42359208198430548232013-12-25T13:06:00.003-06:002013-12-25T13:06:52.535-06:00I desire mercy, not sacrifice<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Matthew 9 and again in Matthew 12 Jesus tells the Pharisees to "go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'" What does Jesus mean by this? (See references below)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The simple explanation is that Jesus is just talking about mercy; having mercy on sinners in this case. Reading just the text in Matthew that seems clear. It also seems clear that He is simultaneously rebuking the Pharisees for choosing a legalistic approach rather than a merciful approach. A subtle difference, but important. One is advocating mercy towards sinners; the other is admonishing those who are judgmental.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">James said this later: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is only when I read the full text of the referenced chapter, Hosea 6, that more interesting things come to mind. Regarding the verses below, is Jesus:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 - Admonishing the Pharisees to 'return to the Lord'?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2 - Making a reference to a prophecy of the resurrection?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4 - Rebuking them for their fleeting faith?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5 - Telling them that they will be judged harshly?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6 - Telling them that mercy triumphs over judgement?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9 - Telling them that they are wicked?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10 & 11 - Telling them that their society is wicked and due judgement?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We know that Jesus of Nazareth was possibly (probably) both the leading authority on the bible (His bible; the bible of the Jews/Hebrews; the 'Old' Testament) and that he was an ardent student and practitioner of the Socratic method (knowingly or otherwise). He rarely simply spoke His mind, apparently preferring to speak in parables and using the double entendre as a high art form; and let's not even talk about the sarcasm!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Based on my understanding of His word, His message, and His method, my guess is that He intended for there to be multiple possible meanings. He meant the simple message for all who were listening; "mercy over judgment". He meant also for the Pharisees as well as His disciples and any other learned listeners (or readers) to wonder: "Wait... did He mean the Pharisees are wicked like marauders?" "Hold on... did He mean...?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think He intentionally and often said things and used parables and stories that had multiple meanings both to drive home different messages and, just to make us think. In this case there should be no question that He knew the exact text of this chapter of Hosea and, of course, all of Hosea and that of the rest of the prophets as well. I simply cannot imagine Him pulling a few words out of something such as Hosea 6:6 and using them out of context, without meaning being applied to the remainder of the chapter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just for the record; I do not look for messages by reading the letters of the bible diagonally! I'm just trying to figure out both what He said, and more importantly, what He meant. Yes, yes, yes... prayer, fasting, blah, blah... been there, done that, got the t-shirt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>'</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>On hearing this, Jesus said, <span style="color: red;">“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”</span>'</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Let us acknowledge the Lord; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>“What can I do with you, Ephraim? What can I do with you, Judah? Your love is like the morning mist, like the early dew that disappears.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Therefore I cut you in pieces with my prophets, I killed you with the words of my mouth— then my judgments go forth like the sun.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>As at Adam, they have broken the covenant; they were unfaithful to me there.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Gilead is a city of evildoers, stained with footprints of blood.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>As marauders lie in ambush for a victim, so do bands of priests; they murder on the road to Shechem, carrying out their wicked schemes.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I have seen a horrible thing in Israel: There Ephraim is given to prostitution, Israel is defiled.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>“Also for you, Judah, a harvest is appointed.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Hosea 6</i></span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-49556904772978435682013-12-25T13:02:00.001-06:002013-12-25T13:02:27.570-06:00Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I only recently accepted God into my life after a lifetime of occasionally passive and often active atheism. I was raised on the bible in a fundamentalist religion, and read the bible even as an atheist from a history, poetry, and philosophy standpoint, so I am well acquainted with it, but I never was a believer as an adult until recently. My experience with stereotyping was, and remains, my stereotyping of Christians!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As an atheist I wanted nothing to do with Christians, assuming that they would be less intelligent than average; 'how could they be intelligent if they accepted fairy tales as reality?' I thought. I assumed that they would be judgmental, condemning me to the pits of hell, using the phrase 'love the sinner, hate the sin' to mask what I believe(d) to be veiled hatred, and a cowards way of saying so. I assumed they would be unwilling to even discuss with any level of intelligence or skill most issues of science. All of these assumptions were not made in a vacuum, but based on personal observation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, having accepted God in my life, I still stereotype Christians. I still find that most of them cannot even discuss their own religion or beliefs beyond simple platitudes. I still find that most are incredibly judgmental, rapidly condemning me for being gay or for refusing to buy into their own 'bumper sticker' theology. I still find that most are unwilling or unable to discuss the science that they dismiss so readily.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had a conversation recently with a woman with whom I was striking up a tentative friendship at a church I have visited. I talked about my acceptance of God while still accepting the science of evolution (hey! it came up in conversation!). I asked her if she believed in the literal creation and she yes, but sometimes she was confused about fossils and dinosaurs. In our conversation she showed virtually no knowledge of the bible other than the 'devotional platitudes' that she had learned from sermons and bible study. Please don't misunderstand me; she is a sweet person, but my stereotype holds that she is unable to engage in a meaningful conversation about her own religion. I completely understand that this possibly puts her in the realm of <span style="color: red;">"blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."</span> Regardless, the two of us cannot have an in depth conversation about religion and science.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My experience with stereotyping others (that is relevant here) is my stereotyping others who profess to follow the message of Jesus of Nazareth (the carpenter, Son of Man, Son of God, etc.) I long for conversation with someone who accepts the message of Jesus, does not condemn me out of hand for being gay (or different), can discuss the bible from an informed perspective, and can discuss the science that is relevant to the bible (physics, genetics, etc.) with enough authority to actually understand the relevance of these issues to biblical issues.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I believe that my faith, albeit tenuous and new (I pray every day that He help me remember what He has done for me and to 'help me with my unbelief'), is stronger by far than it would be if I had no knowledge of science and accepted the mythology of the bible literally. My 'leap of faith' is across a far greater chasm that it would be were I ignorant of physics, archaeology, genetics, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Albert Einstein let his belief blind him to science. He later called it his 'greatest blunder' when he modified one of his formulas to [maintain an immutable universe]. He later was quoted as saying that "God does not play dice with the universe" because he simply could not believe the discoveries made (based on his own research!) in quantum physics!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have accepted that God cannot be defined by us, despite the best efforts of Stephen Hawking and Francis Crick. If He could be defined within the parameters of genetics or astrophysics, then He wouldn't be God would He?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wish I could find other Christians that can discuss this without becoming angry (<span style="color: red;">"But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment."</span>) or judgmental (<span style="color: red;">"For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."</span>) and can do so from an informed perspective (<span style="color: red;">"But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear..."</span>).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh." - Robert Heinlein</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-63778507974764848142013-12-25T12:59:00.006-06:002013-12-25T12:59:59.835-06:00To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've been saying for years (even when I was still an atheist) that I would be happy to pattern my life after the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_letter_edition">words in red</a>, the words of Jesus, but that the rest of the bible is simply too horrific to contemplate. Now, after having accepted God into my life, my position has moderated somewhat with further study, but I still maintain that, in order to follow the words and message of Jesus I should listen first and with great priority to His words, the words in red, and that everything else is reference or supporting material only.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I've just finished re-reading and studying the New Testament for the second or third time in the past few months and I can state with conviction that I could use the bible to justify virtually any position I wish to take on virtually any topic I wish to take a position; unless I filter the bible through the words in red. Then things start to become really clear. In a recent online post I said (and was scolded for):</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The word of the living God is best captured by the words in red, the words of Jesus of Nazareth. We have good evidence that these words were captured in a reasonably accurate manner and, as the message is very coherent, we can assume that we can accept them as what He intended. I take a position that the words of Jesus are the central message of the word of God in the New Covenant (Hebrews 8, Jeremiah 31) and should therefore be a filter through which we read the rest of the bible, particularly the New Testament.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I realize this is a position that is completely contrary to modern evangelical Christianity, which I feel would be better named 'Paulianity'. I think that most of us on this forum are quite comfortable taking a position outside the scope of the writings of Paul (Paulianity). Most of us are gay. Most of us don't believe that it is a disgrace for women to speak in church or to teach and that they do not need to cover their heads. feel free to read Paul's thoughts on these.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Honestly, I do not like calling myself a 'Christian' and associating myself with two millenia of hatred and persecution of the most vile nature. I feel more comfortable referring to myself as a 'Pre-Constantine' Christian, but that still associates me with the misogyny and homophobia of Paul. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am a follower of the message of Jesus of Nazareth, carpenter, teacher, Son of Man, Son of God. Perhaps that makes me a 'Jesus of Nazarethian'?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I follow the words and message of Jesus. Sometimes that contradicts the words of Peter, Paul, James, etc. When in doubt; I follow Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"What if Jesus really meant all those things He said?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I just recently found online the <a href="http://www.redletterchristians.org/">Red Letter Christians</a> 'movement'. While I am still reading their dogma, it looks surprisingly as if their 'dogma' is simply to follow the words of Jesus! Imagine the heresy! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think I may begin referring to myself as a Red Letter Christian. I have found out that it really upsets others when I refer to them as Paulianists, and their religion that of Paulianity! And it upsets others when they find out I'm a 'gay Christian' (an oxymoron to many, most of whom are <b>simply </b>morons). Somebody is going to be upset at something I say at sometime for some reason. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if Jesus had really meant it when He said <span style="color: red;">"blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy"</span>? Would He appreciate others telling me I'm going to burn in hell for being gay?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if Jesus had really meant it when He said <span style="color: red;">"blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God"</span>? Would He appreciate others refusing me membership in their church for being gay and for publishing hate rhetoric in their dogma and on their website?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if Jesus had really meant it when He said "anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell"? Would He appreciate those who are derisive to others in the name of Paul, James, or Luke?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know the answer to those questions as a 'Red Letter Christian'. I have no idea what the answers are in terms of modern 'Christianity' (in my words; the doctrine of Paul).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." - C.S. Lewis</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-83089063412609275432013-12-25T12:54:00.003-06:002013-12-25T12:54:58.473-06:00I do not idolize the bible<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hebrews 6: Once you are saved, if you fallen away from enlightenment, it is impossible to be saved again. If this were true, none of the eleven would have been saved, particularly Peter who denied Jesus three times (remember the chicken crowing?).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"4 It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age and who have fallen away, to be brought back to repentance. To their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. Land that drinks in the rain often falling on it and that produces a crop useful to those for whom it is farmed receives the blessing of God. 8 But land that produces thorns and thistles is worthless and is in danger of being cursed. In the end it will be burned."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">James 2:17 and 2:24: Regardless of your faith, if you do no good deeds, you cannot be saved. This is directly contrary to the concept of grace as touted by Paul (re: Ephesians 2:8,9 and Romans 11:5,6) and contrary to the parable of the tax collector and the Pharisee in Luke 18:9-14. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">...faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Timothy 2:14: Women are the sinners, not men. This is contrary to the message and actions of Jesus. His first missionary was a Samaritan adulteress.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1 Corinthians 5:12,13: In Romans 14:3,5 Paul states "...for God has accepted him. Who are who to judge someone else's servant?" He goes on then to judge harshly in 1 Cor 5.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"12 It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. 13 God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, “You must remove the evil person from among you.”"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I could go on, but there really isn't any point. Someone who believes that every word in the bible is sacrosanct won't listen anyway and will judge me just as I am judged because I am gay. Did I take some of my references out of context? Of course I did! That's what we do in the bible to make our point isn't it? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The only way to read the bible in context is to read it in the context of the words in red; the words of Jesus!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus was constantly disappointed in and discouraged by His disciples. Phrases such as "Oh ye of little faith", "you unbelieving and perverse generation", "could you not watch with Me one hour?", "you do not want to leave too?", and "get the behind Me Satan" are sprinkled throughout the gospels.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Peter, arguably His favorite, ended up with only a few pages out of several hundred in the New Testament and was rebuked by Paul in Galatians "because he was afraid of those who were in favor of circumcising [the Gentiles]." The men referred to were sent by James, who arguably knew Jesus pretty well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Paul was a misogynist and a homophobe. I don't feel it necessary to justify this statement; Google 'Paul misogynist homophobe' and you get over a hundred thousand hits. This is a topic that has been discussed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The only way to understand the message given to us by the disciples/apostles is to read it in the context of the words in red; the words of Jesus!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The disciples/apostles contradicted themselves, fought among themselves, and had repeatedly disappointed Him (those who "walked with him, talked with him, heard his parables and sermons. They are the first hand witnesses of the Living God!" Paul bragged about having spent little time with the disciples before he began to proselytize, probably because, as he showed later, he disagreed with their teachings! He went on to contradict himself and make some of the most judgmental passages in the New Testament, meanwhile exhorting his audience not to judge and to forgive!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The word of the living God is best captured by the words in red, the words of Jesus of Nazareth. We have good evidence that these words were captured in a reasonably accurate manner and, as the message is very coherent, we can assume that we can accept them as what He intended. I take a position that the words of Jesus are the central message of the word of God in the New Covenant (Hebrews 8, Jeremiah 31) and should therefore be a filter through which we read the rest of the bible, particularly the New Testament.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I realize this is a position that is completely contrary to modern evangelical Christianity, which I feel would be better named 'Paulianity'. I think that most of us on this forum are quite comfortable taking a position outside the scope of the writings of Paul (Paulianity). Most of us are gay. Most of us don't believe that it is a disgrace for women to speak in church or to teach and that they do not need to cover their heads. feel free to read Paul's thoughts on these.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Honestly, I do not like calling myself a 'Christian' and associating myself with two millenia of hatred and persecution of the most vile nature. I feel more comfortable referring to myself as a 'Pre-Constantine' Christian, but that still associates me with the misogyny and homophobia of Paul. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am a follower of the message of Jesus of Nazareth, carpenter, teacher, Son of Man, Son of God. Perhaps that makes me a 'Jesus of Nazarethian'?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No, I am not wiser than Jesus. If I believed I were, then I might take what Paul, James, and Peter said without the same scrutiny that He did. Perhaps I might be willing to treat women as slaves. Perhaps I might be willing to excommunicate those who disagreed with my interpretation of His words. But I'm not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I follow the words and message of Jesus. Sometimes that contradicts the words of Peter, Paul, James, etc. When in doubt; I follow Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King, Jr.</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-77341176887424100262013-12-25T12:52:00.001-06:002013-12-25T12:52:15.830-06:00Do I lose my 'gay card' if I don't like Ellen?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I just don't enjoy watching talk shows. It doesn't mean I don't 'like' them, only that I don't care for the genre. I'll admit that I have watched the Ellen show for a couple of minutes at a time just because, well, she's Ellen! But it still doesn't make me like her show.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I get most of what little I know about politics from the Rachel Maddow show. I don't like it because she's gay. Yes, I think she's a total hottie! But I like it because of the way she presents the story. I never cared for the show with the two gay men and the skinny redhead across the hall. It was just too superficial. Of course, maybe it's me that's being superficial; perhaps I'd have liked it if the cute redhead character had been gay</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think we all are going to be drawn to things that we can relate to. I won't watch Fox news because of all the hatred. But I won't watch some MSNBC news shows because the host and participants simply yell over one another. Still, I'll tend towards MSNBC and the Rachel show because they represent who I am better than Fox and its hate rhetoric.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">That said; I'm a transsexual lesbian but I don't relate to other transsexuals. I relate to women and to lesbians. That I'm a transsexual doesn't mean that I'll just automatically want to be like Ru Paul or want to watch her show 'drag race'. I was raised in a 'trailer trash' environment, but most of those shows on (I think) the History channel celebrating rednecks and trailer trash are of no interest to me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You are who you are. You aren't going to like something just because there is some common thread.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some women feel that they must 'submit themselves' to a man, becoming someone that doesn't feel true to themselves. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You were meant to be you! The very best you that you can be! Read my blogs on your 'women's roles in the church' and you will see my opinion of those who would take the words of the misogynists and homophobes and use them literally as hate rhetoric. Jesus' first missionary (arguably an ad hoc disciple) was a Samaritan adulteress, and he never once said one word in the negative to her. He showed compassion to a Jewish adulteress who was caught in the very act, protecting her from an unruly crowd of men (teachers of the law and Pharisees were all men at the time).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">His dying act was to make sure that His mother was taken care of. Women were the last at the cross, the first at the tomb, and the first to see Him after resurrection. Women were among His followers and helped to support Him 'out of their own means'. When at the house of Martha and Mary he rebuked Martha when she asked Him to tell Mary, ...'who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said...' to get up and perform her 'women's duties'; “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus never once showed anything but respect and kindness to women. He never told a woman to do anything but listen to His word. He defended women. He allowed women to follow Him, even allowing them to support Him and His retinue out of their own pockets; He who wouldn't take anything from the Pharisees, Sadducees, or other political leaders. This can all be seen without even going into the Apocrypha! Meanwhile, throughout the Gospels you can find stern rebukes from Him towards his male followers, and many cases where they abandon Him or deny Him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Women are special. His words tell us that. His message confirms that. You be as loud and assertive as you like! Ignore the opinions of anyone of any gender who wants to belittle you or 'put you in your place'! Read the words in red! Feel the love!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." - Mahatma Gandhi</i></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-48118444302749526362013-12-25T12:48:00.000-06:002013-12-25T12:50:12.783-06:00Is it a sin to pay someone weekly?<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"Do not hold back the wages of a hired worker overnight." Leviticus 19:13</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Leviticus 19:13 is one of the verses that I use to dismiss Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 when talking to those who wish to tell me that homosexuality is a sin. If 18:22 (<i>Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable</i>) and 20:13 (<i>If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.</i>) must be read literally, so also must be observed the Lords decrees that you; pay workers daily, not wear garments of a blend (polyester/cotton blend), stand up in the presence of the aged, do not spread slander (gossip), not eat from a fruit tree until its fifth year, not cut your hair or beard, and treat foreigners (immigrants) with love.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My contention is that, if you find justification to nullify any of these, you have to use that same justification to nullify all of them. Note that Leviticus 19:37 says <i>"Keep all my decrees and all my laws and follow them. I am the Lord."</i> It doesn't say "unless you agree among yourselves not to", or "unless you have a really good reason to do otherwise." It just says do them! So while I tend towards a literal interpretation of the bible (guided by appropriate study of various translations) I don't accept everything at face value until I've run it through the message of Jesus (see more below).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hebrews 8 quotes Jeremiah 31 by saying in part:</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"For if there had been nothing wrong with that first covenant, no place would have been sought for another. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But God found fault with the people and said: “The days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the people of Israel and with the people of Judah.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It will not be like the covenant I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they did not remain faithful to my covenant, and I turned away from them, declares the Lord.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel after that time, declares the Lord. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">By calling this covenant “new,” he has made the first one obsolete; and what is obsolete and outdated will soon disappear."</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Romans 13:8-10 Paul says <i>"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Normally I do not like to quote Paul as (I think) he was a deeply disturbed individual, but as long as I 'filter' what he says through the words and message of Jesus, and try to avoid his writings from when he was in one of his psychotic episodes I feel like I'm ok.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus said we simply had to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, and souls, and minds and to love our neighbor as ourselves. When asked to define 'neighbor' he gave us the parable of the good Samaritan, perhaps the most hated and reviled person that a Jewish audience could image. He did that for a reason, and He didn't mention any ritual purification or cleansing that the Samaritan or Jew had to go through. I think it's also important to note that He included 'your mind'; He didn't want us to be ignorant. He wanted us to inquire and understand His message.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I think that all of the Levitical laws, including the one regarding daily payment, are nullified by the new covenant that was brought by Jesus Christ and sealed in His blood. I think Jesus' admonition and Pauls restatements are clearly; to love one another and, after loving God, that is enough.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Love does no harm.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-90441014926654038122013-12-25T12:41:00.000-06:002013-12-25T12:41:57.389-06:00The Bumper Sticker JesusI am basically a <a href="http://www.redletterchristians.org/">'red letter Christian'</a>. Effectively; I try to understand the message of Jesus, then I filter everything else, including His own words, through the context of that message!<br />
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This is simultaneously more difficult and easier than it sounds. It is more difficult because you will find Him saying things like <span style="color: red;">"No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."</span> while He's forgiving Peter like a jillion times. He makes comments such as <span style="color: red;">"Until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or one stroke of a letter will pass from the law until all things are accomplished"</span> while admonishing the Pharisees to <span style="color: red;">"go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'"</span><br />
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It is easier because, once you really start listening to Him, you realize that He really, honestly, did not seem to care if we followed 613 anal retentive laws such as <i>"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity." (Dt 25:11 NIV)</i><br />
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You can almost feel His frustration when He is talking to people, it's as if He wants to beat his breast and ask "Are you not listening to me? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" (Yeah, that's a Jackie Chan quote! )<br />
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Jesus intentionally spoke in parables. He was possibly the greatest master of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_method">Socratic Method</a>; "Then he told them many things in parables..." I think He did this specifically so His message would be easier to understand and remember. It is more difficult to remember specific words than it is to remember its intent in story form (see <a href="http://www.aesopfables.com/">Aesop's fables</a> ).<br />
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Using this method of understanding what He meant for us, I find the twin stories of the two adulteresses in John to be quite telling when juxtaposed against Mark 10. In Mark 10 He is speaking to the Pharisees, telling them that divorce is (effectively) adultery; He is essentially condemning adultery and divorce.<br />
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In John 8 a woman caught in adultery is brought to Him by the Pharisees. He is asked what should be done with her. First He disperses the crowd by telling them <span style="color: red;">"Let those among you who are without sin cast the first stone!"</span> Then He asks the woman <span style="color: red;">"Where are those who condemn you?"</span><br />
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He wanted <b>her </b>to accept and understand that no one could accuse her! Only after she accepts this does He continue, stating <span style="color: red;">"Then neither do I condemn you."</span><br />
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Here's the interesting part; He ranted on about the evils of divorce and adultery in Mark (and also of course in Matthew), but when faced with an adulteress He is gentle with her, making sure that she is safe and that she carries no guilt when she leaves. Do you see the difference between His lecture to the Pharisees in Mark and His refusal to even condemn the woman here? Do you hear the words that are coming out of His mouth?<br />
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In John 4 He meets a Samaritan woman who has been divorced from five husbands and is living in adultery with a sixth! He states this to her bluntly, as if He is saying "I know who you are!" But then He never mentions it again!<br />
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In John 8 He tells the woman who was caught in adultery to <span style="color: red;">"Go and sin no more."</span> In John 4 He doesn't even condemn the woman. He wants her to know that He knows! But He never condemns her! Instead, he 'deputizes' her as His first apostle, His first missionary, and uses her to convert many in her village!<br />
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Fundamentalists, literalists, and legalists will say that He condemned divorce and adultery!<br />
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Those who are trying to understand His message realize that He was only condemning these in the context of railing against the fundamentalists, literalists, and legalists. He wasn't condemning the sinners who are guilty of these acts, rather He was condemning the Pharisees, fundamentalists, literalists, and legalists who focused on justice over mercy! <span style="color: red;">"And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them."</span><br />
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Note that He told the woman 'caught' in adultery to go and sin no more. That she was 'caught' in adultery would mean that she was fooling about with someone outside the context of a committed relationship. To the woman at the well, who was in a committed relationship, He never said boo about it.<br />
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If you're searching for His message with the hope of understanding His will (which seems appropriate to me), you might come away from this with a few lessons:<br />
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- <u>Grace </u>- there is nothing we can do to make Him love us less, and there is nothing we can do to make Him love us more. Even the faith of the man who cried out "Help me with my unbelief" was enough for Him.<br />
- <u>Committed relationships</u> - He didn't seem to have a problem with the woman who was in a committed relationship, even though it was with a sixth man! What seemed to be important, when contrasted with His message to the woman in John 8, was simply that this woman was in a committed relationship!<br />
- <u>What He doesn't like</u> - The only thing He consistently spoke angrily about was those who <span style="color: red;">"do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns."</span> Having trouble with your faith but you really, really want to believe? No worries! He's got your back! Know you're a sinner and you just can't stop but you try to carry His message? Not a problem! He can use you!<br />
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Don't you think that, if He wanted to, He could have given us lots of pithy little sayings, bumper sticker logic, spin? It worked for Poor Richards Almanac... but that's not what He did.<br />
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He told us to love the Lord our God with all our hearts and souls and minds. Minds... get it? He wanted us to think and understand. He rebuked people almost continuously for failing to see His message, and instead focusing on the minutiae. He told people not to tell about His miracles because He didn't want the hyperbole to exceed His message.<br />
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I understand where people get the idea that homosexuality is wrong. i understand where people get the idea that eating pork is wrong. I understand lots of the little details, but I don't focus on them, and neither did He.<br />
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All He ever asked is for us to try and understand, to do the very best we can, and to love Him and our neighbor. I find no condemnation in His message for my being gay, a transsexual woman, or for my various and sundry other sins which pop up almost as if I have Tourette syndrome!<br />
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<i>I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts.</i><br />
<i>I will be their God, and they will be my people.</i><br />
<i>No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’</i><br />
<i>because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest,”</i><br />
<i>declares the Lord.</i><br />
<i>For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.</i><br />
<i>Jeremiah 31</i><br />
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Jesus was a heretic and a blasphemer. The dogma and orthodoxy of the modern 'Christian' church would have (and I believe does) appall(ed) Him. He didn't have a daily planner and follow little rules, guidelines, and 'helpful hints from Heloise'. He loved sinners but condemned only those who condemned them. He loved the poor and the sick but condemned only those who refused to help them.<br />
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If you ask Him for understanding, and he gives it to you, but you refuse to believe because of the hate rhetoric from false prophets, why bother? Seriously. Just consider the harbingers of hatred to be your High Priest, your Caiaphas, and don't bother Him anymore; leave Him to dwell in the Holiest of Holy Places.<br />
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If you ask Him for understanding and He tells you <span style="color: red;">"Then neither do I condemn you",</span> perhaps you should listen.<br />
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Peace,<br />
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Elisheba Ruth<br />
<i>"People arrive at a factory and perform a totally meaningless task from eight to five without question because the structure demands that it be that way. There’s no villain, no ‘mean guy’ who wants them to live meaningless lives, it’s just that the structure, the system demands it and no one is willing to take on the formidable task of changing the structure just because it is meaningless. </i><br />
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<i>But to tear down a factory or to revolt against a government or to avoid repair of a motorcycle because it is a system is to attack effects rather than causes; and as long as the attack is upon effects only, no change is possible. The true system, the real system, is our present construction of systematic thought itself, rationality itself, and if a factory is torn down but the rationality which produced it is left standing, then that rationality will simply produce another factory. </i><br />
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<i>If a revolution destroys a systematic government, but the systematic patterns of thought that produced that government are left intact, then those patterns will repeat themselves in the succeeding government. There’s so much talk about the system. And so little understanding" - Robert M. Pirsig</i>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-21209722300312103032013-12-22T08:18:00.003-06:002013-12-24T20:19:56.498-06:00Pay It Forward<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I was an atheist my philosophy was one of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward">'Pay It Forward'</a>. Even before I saw the movie I believed in the concept of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Random_act_of_kindness">'Random Acts Of Kindness'</a>. I used to read the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_letter_edition">'words in red'</a> every few years or so, or just peruse them on and off, as I found in them great beauty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A few years back I went in search of the origin of both the term and the concept of 'Pay It Forward'. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pay_it_forward">Wikipedia states</a> that the phrase may have been coined by <i>'Lily Hardy Hammond in her 1916 book In the Garden of Delight.'</i> Its earliest usage as a concept seems to be a play by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menander">Menander</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyskolos">Dyskolos</a>. Wikipedia sums this up as;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Sostratos scolds his father, pointing out that wealth is inherently unstable, "and everything you have is not yours but luck's." Therefore, Kallippides should not begrudge sharing wealth with others; money can't be held forever, and luck will simply assign that wealth to someone else someday, perhaps to someone less deserving. Sostratos argues out that wealth imposes upon its owner a responsibility to act nobly, and to "make rich as many people as you can by your own efforts. For this act never dies."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Wikipedia goes on to say that; </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"The concept was rediscovered and described by Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 25, 1784:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>I do not pretend to give such a deed; I only lend it to you. When you [...] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro' many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a Christian, I have read and reread the New Testament with emphasis on the Gospels several times. I have read perhaps a dozen or so books by Lucado, Yancey, and others on the topic of Christianity. One of the things that has struck me is how much the teachings of Jesus resemble that older philosophy; 'Pay It Forward'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Much speculation has gone into the early life of Jesus. We simply do not know what happened to Him between the time He gave them a scare at twelve (<i>"Why were you searching for me?" he asked. "Didn't you know I had to be in my Father's house?"</i>) and His baptism by John.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He was clearly a knowledgeable man, probably well read, and likely would have had access to the knowledge of the Greeks including the play by Menander as well as the works of Socrates and Plato. Jesus expressed familiarity with Greek actors by using the Greek name for actor, hypokrites, to describe Pharisees on many occasions. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocrisy">Wikipedia states</a> that "[t]he word hypocrisy comes from the Greek ὑπόκρισις (hypokrisis), which means "jealous", "play-acting", "acting out", "coward" or "dissembling". Jesus knew this well enough to feel comfortable using the term. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Whether He had actually attended or had read plays or not is not necessary knowledge to accept that He had knowledge of the Greek culture. Certainly He would have been in contact with Hellenists during His life. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is obvious from His style of rhetoric that He was familiar with the methods of Socrates. I personally believe He may have been captain of His High School debate club... but that is a minority opinion and only speculation on my part! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Matthew 7:12 (NIV) Jesus tells us; <i><span style="color: red;">"</span></i></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I would argue that this is as clear a statement of the philosophy of 'Pay It Forward' as any, and Jesus told us that it entirely </span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>'sums up the Law and the Prophets'</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">John 6:9-13 is one of the many stories where Jesus feeds the masses. In this particular story there is a boy with <i>'</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>five small barley loaves and two small fish'</i> among a crowd of five thousand men. Note that only the men were counted, so there could have well been ten to twenty thousand including women and children!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Can you imagine how this boy felt? Of a crowd of thousands he was the only one who had thought to bring food, but clearly not enough to feed even a small fraction of the crowd. Now the disciples of the Teacher are asking him to give them his food! Are they just going to eat it themselves? Had I been a young person in that crowd I know I may have doubted the sincerity of the disciples. In the words of John Lennon, would I have wondered; <i>"Maharishi, what have you done? You made a fool of everyone." </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But this young boy gave up his food and Jesus fed the masses once again. The act of generosity of this young man has to be one of the greatest acts of the philosophy of 'Pay It Forward' recorded.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In Matthew 18:21-35 Jesus tells the parable of the unmerciful servant. A servant, forgiven the equivalent of millions of dollars, immediately goes out and persecutes someone that only owes him a few dollars. His fellow servants tell their master of his treachery and he is thrown into prison to be tortured. Jesus message was clear. In verse 35 he states; <i><span style="color: red;">"</span></i></span><span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't think that Jesus was the originator of the philosophy of 'Pay It Forward'. I do think He perfected it. The philosophy has been stated and restated in hundreds of ways. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Martin Luther King, Jr. said </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">12 Step programs include the statement that; "We only keep what we have by giving it away." Science fiction author Robert Heinlein used it in the 1951 novel "Between Planets". Our very DNA is built on the philosophy; each strand splitting itself in half in order to procreate and spread life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Pay It Forward is perhaps</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">, in its various permutations,</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> the most genuine statement of life and morality possible.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I wouldn't go so far as to say that the philosophy of 'Pay It Forward' is the atheists equivalent of the message of Christ. I would go so far as to say that you cannot truly follow His message unless you understand and practice the philosophy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What if Jesus really meant all that stuff He said?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<span style="color: red;">Freely you have received; freely give.</span>" Matthew 10:8</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-76588788426445636462013-12-14T10:51:00.000-06:002013-12-14T11:00:06.462-06:00Where do I find a copy of 'The Hate Rhetoric Bible'?<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A friend shared this link on Facebook today which quotes Michigan Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema, a former state representative from Grandville:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>Agema, who used a poorly-sourced website to denounce "filthy homosexuals" earlier this year, reiterated his opposition to same-sex relationships on Thursday at the Berrien County Republican Party Holiday Reception... 'Folks, they (gay people) want free medical because they're dying (when they're) between 30 and 44 years old,' Agema said.</i>"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What bible has this 'Republican National Committee member' been reading? I've got an NIV Study Bible and I've seen bibles such as '<i>Thompson Chain Reference</i>' and '<i>The Key Word Study Bible</i>' (very cool, next on my list of purchases!) and many others. Is there a '<i>Hate Rhetoric Bible</i>' </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">out there somewhere that I've missed? Perhaps Mr. Agema is reading from the '<i>The Fears Of Paulianity Meet The Boogeymen of Leviticanity' bible</i>'? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">He simply cannot be reading from the same bible that I'm reading from in which Jesus said:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"<span style="color: red;">Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.</span>"</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">- Matthew 7:1-5</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Even the egotistical, homophobic and misogynistic Paul said:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."</i> - Romans 13:8-10</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Just in case you missed that I'll repeat the salient passage:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"...<i>love is the fulfillment of the law."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There is far too much of this type of rhetoric (rhetoric of love) in the bible (and particularly in the message of Jesus and in the epistles) to excuse the words and actions of purveyors of hatred such as Agema as simply being 'poorly informed' or 'misled'. The message of Jesus is far too clear to use His word for statements such as those made by Agema and his ilk. Even if such as person had never read the bible, only listening to pastors of hatred for their knowledge of the word, each person has to, at some point in his life, decide to follow blindly or with eyes open. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was brought up in a fundamentalist, hell fire and damnation, judgmental cult (The Seventh Day Adventists). It never sounded right to me even as a child, and I got over it! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus said:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"<span style="color: red;">Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.</span>"</i> Matthew 7:15</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">But people like Agema aren't even in "sheep's cloting"! He is an agent and worshiper of Satan just as surely as I am (try to be) an agent and worshiper of the Lord my God. The bible also tells us </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">what will happen to them and</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">how to respond:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"<span style="color: red;">If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.</span>" - </i>Matthew 10:14</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"<span style="color: red;">They will throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.</span>"</i> - Matthew 13:42</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”</i> - Deuteronomy 32:35</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you."</i> - Proverbs 25:21,21</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I will admit that my initial reaction is aversion and perhaps even aggression; I'm certainly no saint. But, after reading the words of Jesus and remembering His message and His life I only have one reaction; pity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">How pathetic must it be to go through life as someone such as Mr. Agema? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Do you remember being consumed by hatred for others, allowing rage to take over your mind and body at all times of the day; in traffic, while shopping? I have to be on my guard at all times or I know that I can slip back into that mode of thought. When someone begins ranting to me I'll listen to it long enough to determine if it's simply hatred or if it's going to turn into a 'heap of burning coals'. If I feel myself slipping into that old mode of thought or if my friends words are not turning towards the positive then I gently steer her back towards something that Jesus would want us to talk about.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I can either base my thoughts and actions on words such as these:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions."</i> - Galatians 6:1</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' </i><i>Jesus answered, '<span style="color: red;">I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.</span>'"</i> - Matthew 18:21,22</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Or I can take words such as these to justify hatred, judgment, and condemnation:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"Expel the wicked person from among you.</i><i>"</i> - 1 Corinthians 5:13</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly...</i>" - Romans 1:26,27</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A <a href="http://www.gracearlington.com/">local church</a> has this on their website:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>In fact, 78% of male homosexuals have or have had a sexually transmittable disease. 50% have had gonorrhea. Homosexual young people are 23 times as likely to contract a sexually transmittable disease. Two-thirds of all AIDS cases in this country are a direct result of homosexual contact. Is that normal and healthy? In San Francisco, the sexually transmittable disease rate is 22 times higher than the national average. Lesbians are 14 times more likely to contract syphilis, 4 times more likely to have scabies, and are at 3 times the risk for breast cancer. Less than 3% of homosexuals are over the age of 55 years old and only 1% die of natural causes, specifically old age. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>The average age of death of male homosexuals in this country is 42 years old. And the average age of death of all homosexuals is 50% of that of the heterosexual population.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Why are there so many diseases? Why such young deaths? It has to do with the sexual practices. It goes against how God created bodies to work. And when you violate God’s design, there are always consequences.</i>"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Clearly 'The Hate Rhetoric Bible' doesn't have these passages in it:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i><span style="color: red;">But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.</span></i>" - Matthew 12:36</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.</i>" - Proverbs 10:18</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.</i>" - 1 Peter 3:15,16</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>Whoever slanders his neighbor secretly I will destroy. Whoever has a haughty look and an arrogant heart I will not endure.</i>" - Psalm 101:5</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law.</i>" - James 4:11</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.</i>" - 1 Peter 2:1</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.</i>" - Colossians 3:8</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.</i>" - Philippians 2:3</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Does anyone know where I can get a copy of '<i>The Hate Rhetoric Bible</i>'? Sun Tzu said:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>...if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose. If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.</i>" - The Art of War.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus told us to "<span style="color: red;"><i>Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy</i></span>".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I would like to get for myself a copy of '<i>The Hate Rhetoric Bible</i>'. I cannot be 'on my guard' against the message of the Pharisees if I do not understand them, if I do not 'know them'. Perhaps you can help me. Does anyone know where I could find a copy?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-42371573295485976312013-12-01T11:56:00.000-06:002013-12-09T08:22:30.978-06:00Coming to terms with Christianity and being healed<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">I first got clean in October of 2012 after a suicide attempt and subsequent stay in a lock down psychiatric ward. I had begun using illegal drugs to self-medicate the lows brought on by my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_disorder"><span style="color: blue;">bipolar disorder</span></a>. I had separated from my partner of twenty five years about four years before and was not living with her and my kids anymore; I just couldn't deal with the loss and had turned to marijuana and then to synthetic marijuana ("<a href="http://www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse/k2spice-synthetic-marijuana"><span style="color: blue;">spice</span></a>") to cope. </span><span style="background-color: white;">I ended up losing my job, apartment, and self respect, becoming an addict and prostitute. I'll spend more time on that journey in another post. I want to focus on my journey to becoming a Christian in this post.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">The day after I was released from the psych ward I was taking a bus to get my prescriptions filled and realized I wasn't going to make the rest of the day without buying and using drugs. I had attended an AA meeting during my stay and was told about </span><a href="http://www.na.org/" style="background-color: white;" target="_blank">Narcotics Anonymous</a> (NA). I called their number and found a local meeting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white;">I began attending meetings </span><span style="background-color: white;">but was unable to work any of the 12 steps as I could not reconcile myself with any perception of a higher power. I was raised in the </span><a href="http://www.adventist.org/" style="background-color: white;" target="_blank">7th Day Adventist</a><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cult" style="background-color: white;" target="_blank">cult</a><span style="background-color: white;"> (a cult is defined as: </span> <i>a small religious group that is not part of a larger and more accepted religion and that has beliefs regarded by many people as extreme or dangerous</i></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">) and subsequently spent time in a Southern Baptist church. In both environments I was expected to be able to tell a friend that she would burn in the fiery pits of hell if she did not believe exactly and precisely as I did! The words </span><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/arrogance" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">arrogance</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> and </span><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypocrisy" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">hypocrisy</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> both come to mind. In my mind these views were simply veiled hatred, and I</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"> simply found myself unable to use the word "hate" in any context, even finding the phrase "love the sinner, hate the sin" to be offensive as it too often masked a deep rooted intolerance of other beliefs, cultures, faith etc. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I studied and participated in a number of religious types, denominations, and activities, but never found anything that I could accept. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Perhaps four or five months after I began going to NA meetings I was told by a friend about <a href="http://mccchurch.org/"><span style="color: blue;">Metropolitan Community Church</span></a>, a church where I found that I could feel at home with my fellows from the <a href="http://www.hrc.org/" target="_blank">LGBTQ</a> community. Unfortunately, I found myself still unable to either pray or accept my spirituality. Over the past decade I had studied quantum physics, genetics, evolution, archaeology, astrophysics, and many other branches of science, finally coming to the same decision (albeit by a more lowly path) that Stephen Hawking did; <a href="http://www.space.com/20710-stephen-hawking-god-big-bang.html" target="_blank">there is no place in the universe for God</a>. I had allowed my intellect to completely overwhelm and subdue my spirituality. Although I read the words of Jesus, I read them as though Jesus were a great philosopher, and they brought me no comfort. Mahatma Ghandi told us to "<i>Be the change you wish to see in the world</i>". I believe that to be a wise saying, but it brings me no comfort when I am ill or in distress. Jesus told us in Matthew 15:11 that "<i>It is not what goes into your mouth but rather that which come out of your mouth that defiles you</i>". This is perhaps my favorite of all the words of Jesus, and you will find it re-stated in his teachings in several ways. Still, it brought me neither comfort nor solace when I read it simply as a statement of philosophy, the same as I read Ghandi.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After almost eight months clean, I relapsed and spent the next four or five months sinking back into the same pit of despair that I had been in prior to my visit to the psych ward the prior year. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As I lay dying, and wishing for death, in my car in the last few days before I checked myself voluntarily into treatment, I made no contract with God. My faith is not a "</span><a href="http://www.neveh.org/winston/noathes/noathes3.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">foxhole prayer</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"; I actively sought my death during that last week, going so far as to see my physician attempting to get narcotics for "back pain" and "lack of sleep" which I intended to use to commit suicide, but she would not provide it. Neither is my faith "</span><a href="http://www.prisonfellowship.org/story/the-hazards-of-jailhouse-religion/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">jailhouse religion</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"; I was arrested and incarcerated twice during the weeks before I went into rehab, both times being treated so unkindly and put in such horrible circumstances that I do not know if I will ever find myself able to trust an officer of the law again. Forgive; certainly. Trust; unlikely.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A friend and her husband, both kind and devout Christians drove to where I was living in my car to buy me some food and to share their love of Christ with me. I hadn't eaten but perhaps a few thousand calories in the past few weeks; I had an upper respiratory infection so bad I coughed and hacked constantly; I could not speak above a whisper because I had burned up my vocal chords smoking drugs out of a small glass <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crack_cocaine#Health_issues"><span style="color: blue;">"crack" pipe</span></a>. I was so dehydrated I often couldn't swallow. I hadn't showered in days. I refused to spend any of my remaining money on food, water, cigarettes, or anything other than drugs. I had ran out of money even for drugs, and knew that I would not be able to prevent myself from turning back to prostitution the next day, as I had before, to feed my addiction. They bought me some food and helped me make the difficult decision to check myself into rehab the next day, where I feared being treated abusively, almost horrifically, as I had been treated in jails and institutions on prior "visits". Still, I remained an avowed atheist; there was no room in my life for a deity. I had neither prayed to nor cursed any deity during any of my experiences. I simply did not believe there was anything to pray to or curse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My first week in rehab was a nightmare. I had only been allowed 14 days by the state, and refused to go to detox, wanting to go straight into the recovery program. As a state and donation supported facility I found the food to be simply inedible in my condition. Additionally, there were several women in the womens residential unit that were incredibly angry during their recovery, and the stress contributed to my inability to eat. On the third or perhaps fourth day (some things are a bit fuzzy) I collapsed in the bathroom after dry heaving until I thought my head was going to explode. I was discovered after the group session I had been in ended, and many people in scrubs scrambled about frenetically. After they determined that I was able, they helped me to my bed and went out to confer in the hall. Realizing that they were certainly planning to discharge me to a hospital, where I would spend zero time in recovery, but would eat better, I got up out of my bed and walked into the hall, hunched over like a centenarian. As I walked up to this huddle of men and women in scrubs they looked at me like they expected me to fall dead before them. I very simply begged them to let me stay. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I asked only to be given something I could eat. I begged them not to send me away. I begged them to allow me to stay in the group sessions. I told them in no uncertain terms that I wanted, that I needed to be where I was, that I would cause no trouble, and that I asked for nothing more than food that I could eat. They found me some chicken broth and light soups out of the donations received and made those available to me until I had recovered my ability to eat perhaps six or eight days later. Still, there was no room in my life for spirituality; intellect ruled my thoughts and actions; realizing of course that "<a href="http://waterfallconcept.org/rules-of-recovery/"><span style="color: blue;">my best thinking had gotten me here.</span></a>"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">During my stay I met a woman of faith. She had been in prison and was in the unit for treatment as I was. I found her to be an intelligent, well read, and willing conversationalist, something precious to me. Over the few days I had to talk to her we discussed the meaning of various passages in both the New and Old Testaments. I taunted her as <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+4%3A1-11&version=NKJV"><span style="color: blue;">Satan had taunted Jesus</span></a>; was her faith not shaken by horrific accounts such as the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Josh%206:20-Josh%206:21"><span style="color: blue;">commission of genocide in Joshua</span></a>? How could she believe in a religion responsible for the horrors of the crusades. She held steadfastly to her faith and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was inspired. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">A tiny bookshelf on the unit contained a book by Phillip Yancy "</span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Jesus-I-Never-Knew/dp/031021923X" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">The Jesus I Never Knew</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">". As a speed reader since a very early age I was able to devour the book in perhaps a day and a half. Upon reading Mr. Yancy's book I realized that, in all the time I spent searching for my spirituality, with all of my studying of various sciences and religions, I had forgotten one thing; I had forgotten to study the Bible. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Some of my earliest memories are of a small room with a felt board with biblical figures, other children, and a woman who undoubtedly was attempting to compete with the cookies and our inattention to help us understand a bit of scripture or teach us the words to a simple children's hymn. I was perhaps three or four at the time, so I've had fifty years of exposure to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most-printed_books" target="_blank">the book that has been printed more than any other</a>. I was exposed to it by stories and pictures as a child, sermons and readings as a young person, I have read it as a history book, as a book of philosophy, as poetry, songs, lamentations, and professions of love. I had never read, nor studied the bible as an adult as map for my spirituality. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I re-read the New Testament there in rehab, using a paperback bible that had been given to me by a church charity, then I read again in more detail the gospels, then I went back to the gospels for words of inspiration during the daily, sometimes twice daily affirmations that we shared. I went back to the gospels and began highlighting passages that meant something to me as well as those that might mean something to the other women on the unit who I had come to love as I have never been able to love a friend. Still, I could not pray. Still, the words were wise, but they brought me neither comfort nor hope, nor did they bring me relief from the guilt and shame I had accumulated over a lifetime as an atheist and years as an addict and often, as a prostitute. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I asked if there was a chaplain in the facility, as I had no one to talk to now that my friend of faith had left, but there was none, nor was there any bible study, although we had <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twelve-step_program"><span style="color: blue;">12 step</span></a> (AA) meetings nightly. I was told by one of my friends that the therapist that I was seeing on the unit was an ordained minister. A few days later when I was able to see him he asked me, as he always does, "<i>what brings you so far to see me?</i>" I told him of my experience, and briefly, of my life, and asked him to help me pray. I had at this time accepted that I must accept Jesus Christ as my savior and God as the Lord of my life, but try as I might, I simply found myself unable to open my mouth and utter the words.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">During that session I prayed to my Father for the first time in over thirty years, for the first time as the mature woman that I am, and for the first time with a full and complete knowledge of what I was doing, why I was doing it, and what it meant. I walked out of that session filled with the Holy Spirit. I was comforted. I had faith. I had hope. For the first time in many years I felt peace. The guilt and shame I had been feeling over my addiction, prostitution, and separation from my family was gone, leaving only a healthy regret and desire to make amends.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For the past year and a half, since I had spent almost eight months in Las Vegas as a "crack whore", I had heard music that no one else could hear. At first I thought it was a neighbor playing music too loud, but I couldn't recognize the music so I thought it was a band. I finally realized that my mind was fabricating "music" that simply was not there. It sounded like the tinny over-bleed from a cheap set of headphones. By the time I went into rehab it was almost a constant companion, sometimes coming out of white noise like rain on a roof and sometimes coming out of complete silence as when I was trying to sleep. I was going insane. I had used drugs (mostly "spice") so much and for so long that I had suffered brain damage. I heard it for the first week or so in rehab. I almost got up several times to see if my roommates were wearing headphones or earbuds to sleep, but I knew they weren't. I was hearing the distress call of my brain as it was dying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Since the evening that I prayed in my therapists office I have not heard that "music", not once. My only change in medication was to begin taking <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sertraline">sertraline</a>, which should fog my thinking if anything, and I had only begun taking that a few days before, not time for it to have any effect. I think clearer now than I have at any time in memory. God healed me both emotionally and physically. As a scientist and engineer I looked for every possible option to explain this, but I am left with only the explanation that the Holy Spirit filled me and made me whole.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I did not come to my Father because I was in pain. I did not come to my Father because I was destitute and homeless. I did not come to my Father because I had estranged myself from my family and friends. I accepted all these things; I accepted my responsibility for them; I accepted the consequences of them. I came to my Father because, for the first time in memory, I had found myself in a position where I was able to love and to be loved as myself and without shame. Other women on the unit had no shoes or coats. I had extra, I gave them freely, and my heart opened a little. Others were in pain. I said a kind word or offered a shoulder, and my heart was opened more. When I was so ill I could barely speak, was coughing and vomiting almost continuously and snapped at those around me, I was offered kind words, an extra coat when we were outside and I was chilled, and my heart opened even more. I read the word of God and found truth and love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I still believe in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution"><span style="color: blue;">evolution</span></a> and that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_evolution"><span style="color: blue;">man evolved from apes</span></a>. I still wonder at the miracle of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_entanglement" target="_blank">quantum entanglement</a>. I still believe that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_the_universe"><span style="color: blue;">the universe is approximately 13.8 billion years old</span></a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_the_Earth"><span style="color: blue;">the earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old</span></a>. I still believe that the speed of light is constant throughout the universe (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass%E2%80%93energy_equivalence" target="_blank">e=mc2</a>) and that no physical object can approach the speed of light due to the infinite increase in mass. I still don't believe that inter-stellar travel is possible due to <i>e=mc2</i> and that the use of wormholes is impossible due to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time_travel#Using_wormholes" target="_blank">time dilation</a> (although I do not discount future discoveries such as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wormhole#Traversable_wormholes" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">traversable wormholes</span></a>). I still believe that <a href="http://www.hawking.org.uk/the-beginning-of-time.html"><span style="color: blue;">there is no time outside the beginning of the universe</span></a>. What's my point? Simply; what difference does any of this make?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I searched for years for my spirituality. As an educated woman and a speed reader I have learned so much about so many things that I find myself all too frequently stopping conversations simply by trying to join them and (unintentionally) taken them to a depth with which others are not comfortable. Some of these things I have knowledge of casually and some with enough depth to speak with scholars on the subject. I've studied in depth or casually (casually to me may mean something different than casually to the reader) and discussed in depth with adherents the philosophies of Christianity, Buddhism, Native American religions, Wicca, and others. None of these allowed me to accept my spirituality and to connect with what the 12 step programs refer to as a "higher power". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Only when I finally had read and understood the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_letter_edition" target="_blank">words in red</a> as an educated and informed scientist, engineer, and woman; when I had found myself in an environment where I was accepted and loved in my lowest and basest form; when I had allowed myself to feel and share love and compassion with my fellows both exalted and humbled; only when I had exhausted every other path with complete and total disregard to my safety, comfort and reputation, forsaking even my family and friends; only when I found the strength to simply ask God to come into my life, to forgive me, and to help me understand his will for me and to show me the path he would have me take; only then and only now have I found comfort. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My prayer that evening in my therapists office was one of thanks. I thanked God for allowing me to take a path and to take up burdens that weakened me enough that I could see. I asked Him only for enough time that my children would know that I had recovered and had turned my life around. Other than that I asked Him only to use me as He would to glorify His word. I had been told to be careful about telling God you'd follow whatever path he desired for me, but after years of addiction, multiple suicide attempts, multiple overdoses, and living as a prostitute, I figured that God had done enough for me by just keeping me alive. If He has a bus under which He'd like me to throw myself, so be it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My therapist, on hearing my story, reminded me of the story of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conversion_of_Paul_the_Apostle" target="_blank">Saul on the road to Damascus</a>. Saul became Paul who wrote 13 of the 21 letters in the New Testament. There are 4 Gospels, Acts (the story of the formation of the new church after the resurrection), and Revelations, for a total of 27 books in the New Testament. Paul wrote almost half of the books that we use for our understanding of the word of God (not by word count, but by inclusion of books). <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ACTS%2022:4-5&version=NASB"><span style="color: blue;">Paul had been rounding up Christians</span></a>, both men and women, watching as they were stoned to death or put in prison then executed. He went to the synagogues and obtained letters allowing him to take what was effectively a "lynch mob" to Damascus where he would continue to kick down the doors of homes, churches, temples, and synagogues where Christians were worshiping, dragging them off to be killed in a brutal manner. He was essentially the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann_G%C3%B6ring"><span style="color: blue;">Hermann Göring</span></a> of his time, gladly committing the most horrific crimes against humanity in the name of an evil regime. If God could forgive Saul and choose him to witness for His word, couldn't I be forgiven as well?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Saul was wicked, as was I. God struck Saul down, as he struck me down. God gave Saul two choices; live as a blind beggar or walk His path. God gave me two choices; <a href="http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_in_Alcoholics_Anonymous_Big_Book_is_the_reference_to_jails_institutions_or_death#slide1" target="_blank">jails, institutions, or death,</a> or walk his path. Saul spent a few days in Damascus with the disciples and then immediately began sharing the word of God wherever he could. I spent a short time understanding my faith and then immediately began sharing the word of God with my fellows in the program as well as staff, and now my family and friends and those I meet at church or at recovery meetings. Saul had no shame in his faith, nor do I. Saul had no fear in his faith, stating in II Corinthians 11:23-29 that he had been flogged, beaten, and shipwrecked. Ok, perhaps I'm not as fearless as Paul! But I am a work in progress!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">How has this changed my life? Both a lot and very little. I am truly happy and at peace for the first time in memory. I feel like I have a purpose in life after having told friends for months prior to my self imposed horror that I had felt lost. I have hope for both myself and for my friends and family. Still, I am destitute; I am not however homeless, nor am I without love. I am living with my mother and will move towards getting a job so that I can contribute, pay my legal fees, and help my kids, friends, and family. These things haven't changed, but my approach to them has.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If a friend had told me six months ago that she had accepted God and that God had physically healed her, I would have listened quietly while feeling pity for my friend, believing that her mind had gone. But now I'm the friend telling you that God healed me. If I could explain what happened to me in any other way, I assure you that I would! The last thing I ever wanted to be was a Christian, and yet God had mercy on me and let me become one anyway. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">No doubt He knew that I would not accept any evidence if it could be explained away by any other phenomena. How do I explain away the healing of brain damage other than by His grace? I cannot. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You might think that the falling away of my guilt and shame I might be able to explain away. I cannot. I had just spent a year in 12 step programs trying to get rid of them, but was constantly sharing in the 'burning desire' time because I simply could not get over them. My constant relapse was almost solely because I simply could not stand who I was and who I had been. All of that is gone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Define the word '<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle">miracle</a>'. Wikipedia defines it as '<i>...</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>an event not ascribable to human power or the laws of nature...</i>' I had been to medical doctors and had taken medications. I had tried to heal myself by thinking positively. By any definition, what happened to me is a miracle. As an engineer and scientist who is an advocate of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_method">scientific method</a>, if I assume no <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_priori_knowledge"><i>a priori</i> knowledge</a>, I must accept the conclusion that what happened to me is a miracle. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">For those of you who do not understand evolution, the big bang theory, genetics, etc., I can tell you that you are fortunate. It is a far greater leap of faith to be a scientist who believes that man evolved from apes over the past six or seven million years, and that the earth was formed from clouds of gas four and a half billion years ago than it is to recognize the truth in science and simultaneously accept the truth of Gods word. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A36-40">Jesus told us</a> to "<i>Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.</i>" That's worth repeating again; "<i>...and with all your mind.</i>" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't believe He intended us to put blinders on and worship him in ignorance. Most of the people that I know who believe in a literal creation story go to modern doctors and drive modern cars and cook on modern ovens and live in modern, heated homes. They don't go to faith healers when they or their children or loved ones are sick. These people are hypocritically accepting the branches of science which afford them comfort while simultaneously rejecting the branches of science which challenge their faith. Is their faith in God not strong enough to withstand science? If their faith in God is stronger than their faith in science, why do they not simply pray for healing or go to a faith healer? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Every day now I pray to my Father and ask him, among other things, "<i>Father, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%209:14-29&version=NIV">help me with my unbelief</a>!</i>" Every day I must remind myself of the miracle that He bestowed on me lest my mind slip back into the thinking of the atheist scientist that I was before. My faith is strong enough to withstand my intellectual beliefs. Did not Jesus tell us to love the Lord with <i>all your mind</i>?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My interpretation of <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+13%3A33&version=NLT">the parable of the yeast and the dough</a> is that the Holy Spirit is the yeast and we are the dough. We only need let in the Holy Spirit a tiny bit, but then, just like you must knead yeast thoroughly into dough, working to ensure that is completely spread, we have to work to ensure that the Holy Spirit permeates all of who we are, accepting it into all areas of our lives and our persons. It might be harder to accept God if I also believe in evolution, but Jesus told me to love with my mind as well as my heart and soul, and he told me I would have to work to integrate that love into all areas of my life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Yes, It's hard being a Christian. What's your point?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-48920331583423668822013-11-23T13:52:00.000-06:002013-11-24T15:40:38.524-06:00What Did Jesus Say About Homosexuality?<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What did Jesus say about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality">homosexuality</a>?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a transsexual lesbian I self identify as a homosexual. I am accepted in society as a woman and so will be identified as a homosexual (lesbian) if I am in a relationship with another woman, which is my preference. I am also a follower of the path of Jesus of Nazareth and believe Him to be both the Son of God and the Son of Man. As such, and with consideration to the rabid opposition of most evangelical Christians to homosexuality, what is actually said by the Son of Man regarding us '<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queer">queers</a>' is of some interest to me. In this post I want to discuss Jesus' opinion of and his statements regarding homosexuality.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Regarding the statements of Jesus concerning homosexuality; there are none. Zippo. Nada. Zilcho. The empty set. The big goose egg. Jesus never said a single word regarding homosexuality.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2010:2-9&version=NIV">Jesus did have something to say about divorce</a>! He specifically stated, "</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.</i>" This quote from Mark does include the passage "</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i><span class="text Mark-10-6" id="en-NIV-24595" style="background-color: white;"><span class="woj">But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female. </span></span><span class="text Mark-10-7" id="en-NIV-24596" style="background-color: white;"><span class="woj">For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,<b> </b></span></span><span class="text Mark-10-8" id="en-NIV-24597" style="background-color: white;"><span class="woj">and the two will become one flesh</span></span></i></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">", but Jesus said it in the context of divorce and nothing else! The next time someone makes an anti-gay statement couched in biblical terms, ask them why he or she is not speaking out even more strongly against divorce!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It can be argued that <a href="http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/biblical_evidence/gay_couple.html">Jesus healed the homosexual lover of a man</a> when asked. Remember the story in Matthew 19 of the centurion who comes to Jesus and asks that his slave be healed? Did it ever seem odd to you both that a centurion (a high ranking military officer in the Roman army) would come to Jesus for help, and that this military leader would be seeking healing for his slave? I always thought this was a bit out of place, odd I thought that it was included.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An argument can be made based on the original Greek texts that the man and his slave were gay lovers. Is this conclusive evidence that Jesus sanctioned a gay relationship? Absolutely not! Neither are many of the arguments made against homosexuality. None of the passages quoted to damn gay people speak of committed gay or lesbian couples living in Gods grace. You can read more details at </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/">http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Most of my arguments can be found at the website just mentioned, but the point of this post is simply to answer the question of "what did Jesus say about homosexuality?" The answer remains resoundingly; nothing; not a single word.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If a person or an institution is speaking out against homosexuality in the name of Jesus, who brought a <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+8:10-13">new covenant from God</a> which would be written in our hearts, that person or institution is what Jesus referred to as a <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207:15-20&version=NIV">false prophet</a>; "<i>Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus never made a single statement about homosexuality, but he spoke strongly about <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207:1-5&version=NIV">judging others</a>; "</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" If you bring this up to someone who is behaving as a false prophet, and he or she simply persists in their rhetoric of hate, remember also <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207:6&version=NIV">Jesus' admonition</a>; "</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">" At some point when being confronted by someone who simply wishes to engage in hatred you are best served to do as Jesus told the disciples; "</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2010:14&version=NIV">shake the dust off your feet.</a></i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-83131467974260078742013-11-23T08:26:00.001-06:002013-11-26T07:45:43.138-06:00Why 12 Step Programs Failed Me<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The following can be seen as a condemnation of the 12 step method, but it is not intended to be so. I am not condemning the underlying philosophy of the 12 steps. I am rather condemning the amateurish implementations of this philosophy that I have been exposed to. I continue to believe that the basic philosophy of the 12 steps is sound, but I would be remiss if I did not warn you of the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A15-23&version=NIV">false prophets</a> you will encounter along that path.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>“Not in order to justify, but simply in order to explain my lack of consistency, I say: Look at my present life and then at my former life, and you will see that I do attempt to carry them out. It is true that I have not fulfilled one thousandth part of them [Christian precepts], and I am ashamed of this, but I have failed to fulfill them not because I did not wish to, but because I was unable to. Teach me how to escape from the net of temptations that surrounds me, help me and I will fulfill them; even without help I wish and hope to fulfill them.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Attack me, I do this myself, but attack me rather than the path I follow and which I point out to anyone who asks me where I think it lies. If I know the way home and am walking along it drunkenly, is it any less the right way because I am staggering from side to side! If it is not the right way, then show me another way; but if I stagger and lose the way, you must help me, you must keep me on the true path, just as I am ready to support you. Do not mislead me, do not be glad that I have got lost, do not shout out joyfully: “Look at him! He said he was going home, but there he is crawling into a bog!” No, do not gloat, but give me your help and support.”</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>Leo Tolstoy</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I first got clean in October of 2012. I had attempted suicide after three or four years of progressively worse addiction and having prostituted myself to feed my addiction when I could hold no other job. The attempt on my own life, the third or perhaps fourth (some things are fuzzy during that time period) failed, and I ended up in a lock down psych ward. While I was there two men came in and held an <a href="http://www.aa.org/">Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)</a> meeting. I talked to them afterwards and they told me about <a href="http://www.na.org/">Narcotics Anonymous (NA)</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I felt pretty good by the time my last day in the psych ward rolled around. I thought I was going to be able to stay clean. The day after I got out I was taking a bus to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions filled and I realized that I wasn't going to make the first day without going and finding and using drugs. I found the NA number for the area where I lived and called. I got a time and location and made my first meeting that evening at what ended up being a womens meeting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I got there a bit late, so I didn't hear the introductory readings, and I just sat down near the door and listened to the other women share. At the end the moderator asked if anyone had a burning desire and turned and looked at me expectantly. I think that it was obvious both that I was new and that I was desperate. Not knowing exactly what to do, I spilled my story, which you can read in my other posts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Towards the end I was cut off abruptly by one of the other women (not the moderator) as she stated that she was sorry but they always finished on time. Not a single person said a word. It had been made clear to me how important I was, and that I was less important that the schedule. A woman who had just dragged herself in off the streets, never having been to any NA meeting before and desperate for help, was cut off abruptly so the other women could finish the meeting on time. No one came up to me after the meeting to apologize or ask me if I needed to talk. Someone did get me a phone list and tell me to call someone if I needed to. That's it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I headed for the door and, as I was stepping into the parking lot to head for the bus stop, a man came up to me and tried to hug me. I stepped back protectively and he began delivering his "message" to me. Later, as I came to the group more frequently, he would stare at my feet and told me on several occasions he wanted to "suck my toes". He did go get two other women to talk to me, both obviously reluctant to do so, and they spent some time letting me know that I wasn't the only woman there that had performed sex for money.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">That was my home group for twelve months. I went through five sponsors, each as bad as the rest. I was told that I was absolutely required to attend at least one meeting every day for ninety days, the infamous "90 in 90". As my only transportation was the city mass transit system, it was taking me an hour and a half to two hours each way to get to a meeting. With work around the house and in the yard to pay my rent where I was staying it was very tiring. Additionally, I was still very much in my addiction. I was not an emotionally healthy woman.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I would go to a meeting where often there would be angry men yelling and cursing and I would leave the meeting even more disturbed than when I'd entered it. I would then have a long bus drive home where I would be alone, and not a soul at the meeting spoke a kind word to me except on rare occasions. When I asked my sponsor if I could take a day off from meetings because I was exhausted she responded emphatically and before I'd even finished my sentence with a "No!" She didn't even care about how I felt, she was only interested in maintaining her authority.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Loud, angry, and profane men are a trigger for me. Loud, angry, and profane women are also, but to a lesser extent. Insisting that I absolutely must go to these meetings where I was exposed to a primary trigger was no less insensitive than it would be to tell an alcoholic in recovery that she absolutely must meet with friends every day in a local bar during happy hour. Idiotic is the word that comes to mind. In no case was my well being considered. The overriding factor was that I follow my sponsors will blindly and obediently. This is often referred to as a "power trip".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I often heard statements such as "<i>newcomers should just sit down and shut the *%$# up</i>" and "<i>newcomers shouldn't hang out with each other because newcomers don't know how to live</i>" and "<i>take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth</i>". It became very obvious in all the groups that I attended (perhaps five or six in my area) had taken the phrase in <a href="http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw2/uploads/pdf/litfiles/us_english/Booklet/Intro%20Guide%20to%20NA.pdf">How It Works</a> of "<i>We have hurt so long </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>that we are willing to go to any length to stay clean</i>" as a license to become power obsessed autocrats. The common wisdom had become that the sponsee simply must blindly follow the sponsors advice regardless of how relevant it is to the individual. I was told by one sponsor that she had thirty years clean and had sponsored a number of women and she had a system that worked. The message to me was simple; it was "her way or the highway".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I sat beside one woman in a late night meeting who had been very quiet. There were only five people in the meeting, so we all got to share twice, but this woman never said a word. Finally, the moderator asked her and, after a brief pause, the woman broke down almost hysterically and told how she had less than a week clean and her sponsor had told her that she was not allowed to speak in meetings! I don't think I've ever wanted to strangle someone as much as I wanted to find and strangle that womans sponsor. This poor woman was dying to share and both NA and AA literature talks about the therapeutic value of sharing, but her egomaniac of a sponsor had denied her this basic and fundamental tool of recovery!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I would hear sponsors routinely talk about how they used the same tools that their sponsor worked with them, but they didn't mention all the women that I had seen that could not stay clean under that type of system. Either I fit into the cookie cutter mold of the "perfect sponsee" or she would effectively label me as "constitutionally incapable of being honest". It was my fault that the program didn't work for me. I needed to try harder. Despite the fact that the first step requires us to accept that we were "powerless over our addiction", the opinion of these women was that those of us who failed simply weren't trying hard enough. If I'm powerless over my addiction, how will trying harder make any difference.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You should note that I am being critical of these sponsors and not of the 12 steps in and of themselves. These sponsors had become so convinced that they were perfect that they could not envision a case where a sponsee would not want to follow them slavishly except where the sponsee simply "didn't want it bad enough". In every case these sponsors were simply neither following the letter of nor the spirit of the program. They were instead following a cult of power that had grown up around the program. I have found that decades of doing something wrong do not enable a person to effectively do something right. I have found that, the more experience a person has doing something, the more likely they are to be bad at doing it! It is simply too easy to allow bad habits to creep in. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Many of these sponsors don't even try to follow the program. One of my sponsors and grand-sponsors refused to go over step work in person, instead setting aside two evenings a week for two to three hours each evening where the sponsee could call them to go over the work. I was told that I could have a personal meeting every two weeks for up to two hours. I assure you that I did not feel special, and I realized that "<i>the therapeutic value of one addict helping another</i>" was not a concept that would be used in my recovery with that sponsor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Most of these sponsors are "one taggers", having gotten clean and never relapsed. I relapsed so many times I stopped picking up white tags. How can a woman who was able to stop cold turkey and never relapse relate to a woman who relapses multiple times? These sponsors would tell me things such as "you never have to use again if you really don't want to!" The message being that, if I relapsed, it was my fault, not hers or the programs. I simply didn't want it bad enough. This is a wonderful philosophy if you wish to divorce yourself as a sponsor from all responsibility for your actions as a sponsor to a sponsee. It effectively absolves the sponsor from any responsibility and allows her to be completely inept while still putting responsibility solely on the sponsee. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What kind of addict is it that can put the drugs down and never relapse? Was she ever actually addicted to the drugs at all or was she just a sad and lonely person who needed the validation of the group? I am happy for those people that can do this, but only an idiot would believe that such a person could relate to me or give me meaningful advise. For such a person to give an addict such as myself trite advice such as that mentioned above reflects poorly only on the sponsor, not on the sponsee. Sponsors such as these believe that "white knuckling it", wanting to use so bad that you have to grip the sides of your chair till your knuckles turn white in order to keep yourself from getting up and going to get drugs, is OK! Their remedy is simply to go to more meetings. Live in the meeting room! It is not uncommon for these sponsors to tell the sponsee to go to three to five meetings per day!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After getting out of rehab I went to a meeting at a new group as I had moved in with my mother away from my home area. In my first meeting two men were cursing out the entire group, including me specifically, and not a soul did a thing about it. I stayed after, waiting for the eight o'clock meeting and these men with a few others continued to use language such as I hadn't heard since I was in the USMC. I kept my cool through all of it, but about fifteen or twenty minutes until eight I thought to myself "why would I want to be a member of a group that would allow men to swear at women and children?" I picked up my stuff, walked across the room by the men and told them as I was walking by "gentlemen, your language is offensive", and I walked out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">An older man who apparently had forties years clean and who had been the primary offender had a gleam in his eye and a grin on his face as I walked out. He had achieved his objective. He had intentionally cursed at me during the meeting because he did not want a woman of faith to stay in that group. He wanted to offend me. No less than I was trying to follow the path of Jesus and to be a good person, he was following the path of Satan and doing his best to do evil. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"<i>In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.</i>" </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Martin Luther King Jr.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I went to several AA meetings but their literature and opening statements clearly say "alcohol related issues only", and, while I was told to lie (seriously!) I can't see how lying to get into a 12 step group is a sound basis for recovery. Even in these groups I experienced profanity unchecked; they state that "no profanity will offend no one" but then allow it to go unchecked. I was told in one AA meeting, by a potential sponsor, that I was not allowed to quote the bible in open meetings! The 12 steps never helped me; God healed my addiction. To be told that I couldn't quote the word of God was simply offensive. And I do mean "quote"; I wasn't trying to read from my bible, just quote passages from memory! As I don't consider Bill W to be a prophet and the programs he founded never helped me, I couldn't see quoting his words and giving him credit for my recovery when it was God that healed me, not Bill. Bill W even states in their literature that the non-alcoholic addict cannot be helped by being a member of AA! I am effectively banned from participation!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I finally decided to try <a href="http://www.celebraterecovery.com/">Celebrate Recovery</a>, even though I'm gay and they have programs to "heal" homosexuality, I felt I was at the end of the road with both NA and AA and have attended two separate meetings. In both I have met with acceptance and have found an environment where I do not believe I will have to put up with profanity and outbursts. It is made clear that offensive language and graphic descriptions are not allowed, quoting of scripture is allowed, and that anyone can hold up a hand to signal that the speaker is causing her to "trigger" and appropriate steps will be taken.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I haven't given up on the 12 steps; I have given up on both AA and NA as organizations. Neither have programs that actually follow the principles of the 12 steps or that are concerned with helping the addict (addicted to any substance) recover. Their approach is analogous to a ships captain having only one size life preserver on board, small, and stating that anyone who drowns because the life preserver wasn't the size for them simply didn't paddle hard enough! They have set up elitist clubs where sadists are allowed free reign based on length of membership and have lost sight of their primary purpose; to help the addict who still suffers. They read the words before each meeting that "the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting", but then treat newcomers with disrespect if they don't disregard them entirely. Judging the 12 steps harshly based on these egomaniacal organizations would be silly. The 12 steps make sense. The egomaniacs who use them as a facade for their sadistic and self serving behavior are no more a representation of the message and intent of the steps than are modern day evangelical Christians representative of the message of Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I do want to be part of a recovery group, both to keep my recovery sound and to be able to help others eventually. God healed me of my addiction and I am effectively recovered. I no longer identify myself as an addict; nor do I identify myself as a prostitute. To maintain and continue growth as a former addict who has been healed and who has recovered I know that I need to maintain my relationship with God. I also want to develop and build friendships among others who are in recovery or who have recovered. I think I have found that in Celebrate Recovery. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">If you can find an AA or NA meeting that follows the message of the 12 steps, and a sponsor that is more concerned about your recovery than she is about her ego, that is wonderful! But do not believe anyone that tells you that you are the problem! Read the AA big book and/or NA blue book for yourself! If someone tells you something that seems out of place, ask for clarification and do not settle for justification! This is the sample principle I apply to the bible. I do not listen to those who espouse principles that do not pass the test of the words of Jesus. You should not listen to those who tell you things that do not pass the principles of the 12 steps! Your recovery is your own. You are responsible for your recovery! You have a right to demand an explanation that meets the 12 step principles, and you have a right to be treated with courtesy and respect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As a newcomer to any meeting, you are the most important person in the room! If you are not made to feel that way, go somewhere else!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6762173384982850242.post-48481147969833755322013-11-22T16:34:00.003-06:002013-11-24T15:24:32.357-06:00A Transsexual Lesbian's Search For A Christian Church<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In this post I want to outline my search for a Christian church home. Please refer to my other posts for supporting and background information.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I recently got out of rehab and moved in with my mother and we began looking for a home church. Both of us are comfortable reading the bible with the words of Jesus in the forefront and were looking for a fellowship focused more on grace than on law. We were saddened by finding congregations that, while consisting of kind and accepting individuals, have in their statement of beliefs codifications of individual laws which would exclude, condemn, or denigrate one or the other of us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">As an example; I am a lesbian. I have a <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%208:7-13&version=NIV">personal relationship with God</a> ("<i>No longer will they teach their neighbor, or say to one another, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest.</i>") and, while he has made it clear to me that my past as a drug addict and prostitute has been wicked, he hasn't mentioned anything to me regarding either my sexuality or my gender identity. I found churches (both through attendance and online research) that make statements in their beliefs such as: "<i>Our stand on the social issue of homosexuality is that... while we understand the... perversions... that lead to the choice of homosexuality... God's will is sufficient to overcome the practice of homosexuality</i>" and; "<i>we believe that God’s design for the gift of sexuality is that it is to be exercised and enjoyed only within the covenant relationship of marriage between one man and one woman. We also believe that Christians are to live by God's moral law, which is found in both the Old and New Testaments.</i>" I found it disheartening that people will pick and choose which scriptures to use to judge their neighbors in this manner while avoiding those that might cause their own congregation to recoil in horror such as Paul's statement that "<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+14%3A34-35&version=NIV">Women should remain silent in the churches</a>. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church</i>".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I read the words of Jesus first, then I read the Gospels around them, then the rest of the New Testament, then the Old Testament as reference, particularly of course with regard to those references that were made directly by Jesus or the authors of the books of the New Testament. I believe that Jesus effectively released us from the mores and letter of the law in the Old Testament that were followed by the Jewish community by statements such as "<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2015:11&version=NIV">it is not what goes into your mouth</a>, but rather that which comes out of it that defile you</i>" (no more Leviticus restrictions on diet, this also is confirmed by <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%2010:10-16&version=NIV">Peter's vision</a>), and "<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%208:3-11&version=NIV">let those among you who are without sin</a> cast the first stone.</i>" And yes, I am well aware of Mark 10:6-9 "<i>But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.</i>" He actually made this statement in the context of divorce and was criticizing divorce, not a same sex union!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I talk to Him daily and he hasn't mentioned to me that he finds me a "perversion". Jesus associated with prostitutes, Samaritans, adulteresses, lepers, and yes, even tax collectors. He continually confused and angered others, including his followers, by his insistence on being kind to all while running from the masses and from the spotlight, admonishing those he healed to "tell no one" and even taking a boat across a lake to avoid the throngs. Jesus didn't discriminate; except perhaps against legalists; and it did seem that he had a particular issue with the rich; and he did consistently speak out against those who </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207:1-5&version=NIV">condemn others</a>; "</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Perhaps those who choose to condemn me for being gay should also consider placing in their statement of beliefs Jesus' position on divorce as stated above. I cannot find it in my heart to believe in this type of "cafeteria Christianity", where one can pick and choose which "sins" to wink at and which to condemn. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I must either live by grace as a child of God or I live as a false prophet, condemning others based on my own prejudice and fear, known by the fruit of my vine. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I know that this is a narrow precipice to tread. On the one hand I have Jesus' parable stating "<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A14&version=NIV">for many are called, few are chosen</a></i>", and on the other I have his admonition to the disciples of "<i>if anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2010:14&version=NIV">shake the dust off your feet.</a></i>" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">In fact Jesus never stated any position on homosexuality, other than his position on marriage and against divorce of course; in which case I should be hesitant to read part of his statement without the other. I am just as hesitant to listen to the word of those who are comfortable taking His word out of context in this manner. I am similarly unwilling to read <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2019:23-26&version=NIV">his statement </a>that "<i>it easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than a rich man into heaven</i>" without also reading his follow up of "<i>with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.</i>"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have found that many churches feel the need to have written "beliefs" that, in my understanding, contradict the message of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Son_of_man">Son of Man</a>, to love God with all your heart, and to love your neighbor as yourself. When asked by a Pharisee to define the word neighbor he gave us the parable of <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2010:25-37&version=NIV">the good Samaritan</a>, a person reviled by the Jewish community. He never mentioned the Samaritan or the Jew he helped having to undergo ritual cleansing during or after the aid. I don't recall the parable including any condemnation of either party for either perceived or imagined wrongs. He never mentioned the necessity of taking a "stand" on the social issue of the Samaritan being outside the Jewish community and their laws. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It would seem that some churches believe that taking a stand on social or political issues is consistent with their following the words of Jesus. I remember only his admonition to "<i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2022:17-21&version=NIV">Give unto Caesar what is Caesars</a>, and give unto God what is Gods.</i>" My mother is a staunch <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/8-flagrant-examples-of-republican-shutdown-hypocrisy-20131007">Republican</a> who watches <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox_News_Channel_controversies">Fox News</a> and thinks <a href="http://www.examiner.com/article/glenn-beck-claims-slavery-was-not-really-bad-until-government-got-involved">Glenn Beck</a> is a good Christian and messenger of God. I am as far left as you can get, a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democratic_Party_(United_States)">Democrat</a>, watch <a href="http://www.rachelmaddow.com/">Rachel Maddow</a> for my news, and find both Beck and Fox News to be offensive at best. But we're not looking to join either a political organization or a social activist group. We are looking for a church that follows the teachings of the Son of Man based on His word and His parables such as those of the good Samaritan, the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+13%3A33&version=NLT">yeast and the dough</a>, etc. We would both enjoy the opportunity to learn and grow within a church and to give back to the community in ways that glorify His Word and His Will rather than our own.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My being a lesbian is not a "choice" nor is it a "practice" which requires being "overcome"; it is simply who I am and how God made me. It is not a "social issue" on which anyone has a right to "take a stand". It is not a perversion for me to be gay. I am not in the closet nor do I intend to ever crawl back in it. I realize there are churches for "people like me" such as <a href="http://mccchurch.org/">Metropolitan Community Church</a>. Are you old enough to remember segregation? I am. I read Phillip Yancy's book "Church: Why Bother" yesterday. I found his position that he searches for a church where the congregation is unlike him to be very interesting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here's the funny part; as a non-surgical (non-operative - no body altering surgery has been performed) <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transsexual">transsexual</a> lesbian, I still have male genitalia. Most bigots will regard me as a man, regardless of how long (over five years) I've lived as me and as a woman. Those same people will find me abhorrent (<i>they've told me to my face, really, I don't have to guess anymore</i>) and identify me as a man who lives as a woman. As a transsexual lesbian, I am only interested in romantic relationships with women, therefore the average "Christian" will say I'm gay based on who I date, and will find me despicable based on who I am living as. Again, God hasn't mentioned this to me in our conversations. Clearly, people such as these are simply looking for opportunities to hate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Hating people isn't something that I remember Jesus having done. Perhaps you, dear reader, can point out the verse to me. I recall him <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2026:47-50&version=NIV">calling Judas 'friend'</a> when Judas led the crowd to take him in the garden of Gethsemane. I recall him saving an adulteress from a horrible death. I recall him <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john%204:5-43&version=NIV">using a Samaritan divorcee</a> as an impromptu disciple to save many in a Samaritan town. I have read his words many times and several times recently, but I can find no mention of his being willing to hate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Jesus was not the '<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pablum">pablum</a> Jesus' that modern Christians would have us believe. He was not always gentle and kind and strong and confident and composed. Philip Yancy refers to this post-Constantine illusion as the '<a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199407/and-prozac-all">Prozac</a> Jesus'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Mother Teresa, that “when we judge people, we have no time to love them.”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09631063762003461352noreply@blogger.com0